THE WIFE noticed I hadn't posted the fact our middle son got to meet the Blue Angles this weekend. I just replied I hadn't had much time to blog, which is the truth. Another truth is I am getting tired of whining about everything.
I used to talk to her about what went on at work, but my job is so technical and boring that she redirects the conversation when I try to vent. I'm not saying she doesn't let me talk about work or let me vent, but the fact is I just can't get it all out. I can't clear the frustration.
Politically I think our country has made some huge mistakes which we will be paying for, for years to come. I know PHONECO is screwed. so basically no mater where I turn I feel like the battle is lost.
Let me give you an example or two.
I'm working an issue where I have a guy doing an install that can't get something to work. I'm trying to be his one stop solution to make things work rather than bouncing him from dept to dept. I got an email Friday that I needed to follow up on older tickets, then another email this morning, then in the afternoon my supervisor came by and told em I have more tickets than anyone that haven't been cleared yet.
So, in the morning my first priority is to clear all these tickets out and make sure I don't open tickets according to the priorities set out by our management, but rather by what priorities will not show up in the report they run twice a day.
So, this customer suffers because I have to handle my paperwork.
Stupid right? Yeah, I agree.
The feeling I have no one I can talk to is the depressing side of things and that is where I am right now. I have no out, no escape. I have to keep my job for the benefits and the salary. I could leave the job and immediately go to work at another company (If anyone from PHONECO is reading this, YES I HAVE HAD AN OFFER so screw off). The problem is I go on the road and probably wind up divorced.
THE WIFE and I are having enough problems trying to keep Fridays open so I can help with a men's group for my church.
I just am tired. Tired of trying to do a good job and feeling like I am failing. Tired of trying to not care and not being able too. Tired of having a good work ethic and being a loyal employee while I get dicked around by managers who are playing games.
My main thing I long for is when I finally turn my notice in and then my manager offers me money to stay (Granted he might not, but knowing the shape his dept is in, where I am the only guy with an American accent, I think he will.) and I turn it down. I've taken too many "For the team" and to "Enhance my career." These "Great career moves" are why I can't go to the damn Physical therapist and have been living on pain killers for the last five years. Why I can't get a normal exercise routine in and get below 300 pounds so I can stop hurting all the time.
I better stop now. I'm not going to eat a bullet of chew up a hand full of pills, but I am so sick of dealing with people, it seems like a nice thought.
But then, who would tell you all fart jokes?