Lego Black Ops

HT to Justin at http://jrtblog.com

Why Am I Up Late Again?

Backing up the surviving pictures that's why.

Well, that and actually trying to get some art work done.  I think I'll swing by Michael's tomorrow and pick up a draftsman's brush for my eraser shavings and a set of illustrator pens.  I have been happier with my colors in the last few drawings, but I am definitely not happy with the inking and such from today's add on.

Oh well, inspiration isn't supposed to be perfect, it's an excuse to practice cartooning myself in my Witten jersey anyway.

One more game for the Cowboys (against the Eagles).  I wonder if Van wants to make a bet (odds are definitely in his favor).

IAMFAIL December 28th, 2010 (Learn From My FAIL)

There are those who have lost data, and those who will lose data.

Yep, it finally happened.  My external drive bit the dust.  The one I had been meaning to back up.  The one with kids pictures from all different ages, pictures from my trips, tons of music and software.  Work emails I had archived for when I eventually get put out to pasture.

I was pretty depressed and kicking myself in the butt.  Working in tech support I know failure is inevitable and a good set of backups makes the hurt much easier to deal with.  I broke one of my own rules which is to back up religiously.

Oh well.  I checked out the hard drive and the problem is the motor is seized.  Apparently this is fairly common for Seagate external drives, they take a good shock and BLAMMO.

While I mourn my lost data I will see if I can send it off to get the data recovered by removing the disks and replacing the motor.  It isn't likely, but there is a possibility.

Adding to my paranoia is the fact I couldn't find my software bag.  That would be the one with all my OS's and my copy of Paint Shop.  Without Paint Shop, life may end for me.

OK, whining over.  Enjoy the look of total dismay on my illustrated face.

Messing With The Layout

Sorry for the layout changes. As you all hit the page you may find some nausea inducing changes from time to time and I apologize for that. I am experimenting with layouts for a web comic I am hoping to roll out next month.

IAMFAIL is fun as a one panel thing, but basically I get a chuckle out of it and that is about it. I am looking to make the move to multi panel gags where I can hope to develop beyond the potty humor and inside jokes I have now. Also I would like to hit the point where I can make some cash off of what I am doing and justify it.

I'll keep everyone in the loop and if urls or anything changes I will try to make it obvious.

Thanks,
H

Keys Con Work Order Summary

Mission Successful!

Work Order:

Problem: Wet spots in carpet

Solution: Japanese Chin apprehended and released in natural environment of Tokyo

Time of Job: 15 seconds

Bollywood Action Scene (Even Better Than The Last!)

IAMFAIL December 20th, 2010

Brett Favre provides photographic proof of a "Suspicious Package"

This one is dedicated to my good friend @Falahime.  Merry Christmas little sis!

Smarter Than The Average Rug

This is AWESOME!

Rules? Who Needs Rules?

Today was interesting.  First off we had to pull Ben out of school after the school gave THE WIFE notice that he wasn't doing so well.  They felt like he isn't doing so well, blah blah blah...

Whatever, the writing is on the wall, so the boy is now home schooled for the rest of the year.

Now, in dealing with this, I got called by some managers about a site that is so angry. (Score one).  They are threatening to pull our server. (Score two).  They don't feel like they are getting good enough support. (Score three).  And several more sales depend on this getting fixed which will result in thousands of dollars in revenue. (TECH SUPPORT BINGO!!!!)

Here is the situation; our sever has a list of phones we have tested and deemed to be fully compatible.  The salesholes push the fact we are SIP based and that any SIP phone will work on our system, but tend to forget that if we haven't tested for full compatibility, there may be some things that don't work right.  This can be caused by things being implemented in different methods or a bug on one side or the other.  I admit, we aren't perfect, but we are pretty good.

The important thing is to remember if the phones have not been fully tested, we do not guarantee full compatibility.  Basically that is a big red flag which stops troubleshooting.  If it works on a phone that is fully tested and not one one that isn't, boom, we are supposed to punt the problem away.

So of course we have a HUGE site which just purchased our server with a bunch of Cisco SIP phones that are not on our fully compatible list.  Sure enough, there is a bug with the Cisco terminal.  Does our reseller call Cisco and demand they fix the bug?

No.

They call us and demand we figure out some way to make these terminals which are not on our fully compatible list and have a bug (a bug that I have proven is legitimate and Cisco supposedly fixed several loads back) because THEY SOLD THEM TO THE CUSTOMER!

What's really sad.

Because cash is being threatened, I have been asked to try to figure out some way to make it happen.

Why make rules that you won't enforce?  Why not just say, sure we'll have our minion get right on it.

Whatever; you guys pay my salary.

IAMFAIL December 13th, 2010

Stick Figure MacGuyver to the rescue!

With a tiny stick of gum, a tiny mullet and a tiny paper clip Stick Figure MacGuyver makes his great escape into the dark corners of the universe.

SCORE ONE!

I Often Wonder About The Power Of Toilet Paper

Picture is not of me, I shamelessly stole it.
Click on the mummy to visit the site.

Am I the only one who is skeptical about the benefits of using a toilet bib to protect your from the various diseases you can catch from the toilet seat?

I mean if taking a few bits of toilet paper and laying them on the toilet seat provides you with an impenetrable barrier barrier between your butt and the seat, wouldn't the Army be outfitting soldiers with that instead of chemical warfare suits?

Seriously???

So with that said, you should defininitely perform a pre poop test flush to avoid any embarrassing traps.

And toilet paper, those bibs don't work too well for anything except covering the seat.

Yeah, you're welcome.  Learn from my failures.

Obama Loses It

Too FUNNY!
Ht to IOwnTheWorld !

Still Alive (Mostly)

For everyone who is still with me, I am alive.  I'm sorry that nothing funny has been popping up but I have really been kicking butt non stop on church stuff after work so I have next to no time to blog or draw.

We went to the Dallas Christmas Parade and I have great things to tell, just need time to tell it.  Plus we saw Glenn Beck and I got him to crack a grin after he shook the hands of the kids.  All these things I must tell.

I'm sad that my oldest son was fired from his job today.  From what he tells us he made a mistake and wound up costing Toys R Us some cash.  He's posted on facebook that he isn't supposed to talk about it so I'll leave it at that.  Regardless, he is now in the job hunt so if anyone needs a scrawny young man with a wacky goatee and a general air of homelessness about them, I have the man for you.

Keep the faith all.

Just Because It's Monday

The More You Know!

If you have phone problems it is apparently best to NOT call in while you are having a problem, but rather to wait until lunch time on the following Monday and then gripe like it's the end of the world.

Effective.

IAMFAIL November 25th, 2010

The Pilgrims sometimes had to resort to "Gravy Boarding" the turkeys to get the information they needed.

The things I see written on twitter which inspire me *sigh*.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may God's blessings be on you all!

IAMFAIL November 24th, 2010

The dreaded "Triple Dog Dare!"

Sometimes goofy conversations can be inspiration.  Yesterday I was talking on twitter with my buddy @MarshallSheldon when stopped replying.  I fired off a couple of attention getter tweets and he responded that he had gotten distracted licking the bus window.

I think the illustration sums it up better.

Traveling This Week?

I'm sure glad I'm not.



BTW, he is the bass player.  DON'T JUDGE ME!

Situation Normal

Not griping, just amazed.

PHONECO does mainly online training and one of my co-workers took a course on the system I support.  He made the statement that he "Passed the test but couldn't figure out how to add a phone to his system now."

This guy is no dummy, he reads ISO recommendations and understands them, got his CWNA, has taught classes in VoIP for years and has written countless documentation for PHONECO.  This is just an example of how crappy the training is.  We cannot make upper management realize you can't sit a person down in front of what is (basically) a 12 hour Power Point Project and expect them to do anything other than follow the steps a to b to c.

That would be great, but if you don't know why you HAVE to go a to b to c instead of b to a to c (which may work sometimes) and why, they will fail on installation of the new PBX.  Go over budget.  Speak poorly of it.  Cause others to hate it.

In other words FAIL.

I Have A Theory

I have a theory concerning Charles Shultz's Peanuts Gang.  For years these beloved hooligans have amused us with their shenanigans, but I have recently become concerned about their activities.  I think we have been duped my friends.

I do not take the dismantling of one of America's most beloved groups lightly, but the truth must be revealed.

First off, I need to let everyone in on the truth.  The Peanuts Gang is just that, a GANG.  Why have we overlooked this through the years?  If they were a group of elementary aged kids joined the Crips or the Bloods now would we?  Just because the criminal organization is referred to as the "Peanuts Gang" doesn't mean their motives are pure.

Example number one is the one referred to as "Peppermint Patty.

Wholesome? You be the judge.

"Patty" appears to be some over-masculine freestyling young lady who is destined to not shave her legs and do all her shopping at Sprouts.

Furthermore she is followed by her life partner "Marcy" who calls her "Sir" non stop.

This isn't coming out of the closet, this is standing in the closet with the door open while your life partner shines a spotlight on you.

Mixing a little meth in the bathtub instead of bathing?

Next up is our little buddy, PIGPEN!

Pigpen is always dirty and while no one brings it up odds are good the he is a hard core tweaker. 

So who is responsible for all the trouble?  Do I really need to point it out?                 

That's right! Charlie Brown!

YOU BLOCKHEAD! (Or should I say HEAD?)

Ever notice the Christmas Tree? Not much of a tree huh?  That's because IT HAS FIVE FREAKING LEAVES!!!

They were firing up a HEMP Christmas Tree?  WHERE ARE THE ADULTS????                                                                          

New Product Idea

Surely I can make some cash off this one!

From our mouth to yours!

IAMFAIL - November 5th 2010

The Most Awesome Rescue EVER!

Wondering Where The Unicorn Farts Are

THE WIFE noticed I hadn't posted the fact our middle son got to meet the Blue Angles this weekend.  I just replied I hadn't had much time to blog, which is the truth.  Another truth is I am getting tired of whining about everything.

I used to talk to her about what went on at work, but my job is so technical and boring that she redirects the conversation when I try to vent.  I'm not saying she doesn't let me talk about work or let me vent, but the fact is I just can't get it all out.  I can't clear the frustration.

Politically I think our country has made some huge mistakes which we will be paying for, for years to come.  I know PHONECO is screwed.  so basically no mater where I turn I feel like the battle is lost.

Let me give you an example or two.

I'm working an issue where I have a guy doing an install that can't get something to work.  I'm trying to be his one stop solution to make things work rather than bouncing him from dept to dept.  I got an email Friday that I needed to follow up on older tickets, then another email this morning, then in the afternoon my supervisor came by and told em I have more tickets than anyone that haven't been cleared yet.

So, in the morning my first priority is to clear all these tickets out and make sure I don't open tickets according to the priorities set out by our management, but rather by what priorities will not show up in the report they run twice a day.

So, this customer suffers because I have to handle my paperwork.

Stupid right? Yeah, I agree.

The feeling I have no one I can talk to is the depressing side of things and that is where I am right now.  I have no out, no escape.  I have to keep my job for the benefits and the salary.  I could leave the job and immediately go to work at another company (If anyone from PHONECO is reading this, YES I HAVE HAD AN OFFER so screw off).  The problem is I go on the road and probably wind up divorced.

THE WIFE and I are having enough problems trying to keep Fridays open so I can help with a men's group for my church.

I just am tired.  Tired of trying to do a good job and feeling like I am failing.  Tired of trying to not care and not being able too.  Tired of having a good work ethic and being a loyal employee while I get dicked around by managers who are playing games.

My main thing I long for is when I finally turn my notice in and then my manager offers me money to stay  (Granted he might not, but knowing the shape his dept is in, where I am the only guy with an American accent, I think he will.) and I turn it down.  I've taken too many "For the team" and to "Enhance my career."  These "Great career moves" are why I can't go to the damn Physical therapist and have been living on pain killers for the last five years.  Why I can't get a normal exercise routine in and get below 300 pounds so I can stop hurting all the time.

I better stop now.  I'm not going to eat a bullet of chew up a hand full of pills, but I am so sick of dealing with people, it seems like a nice thought.

But then, who would tell you all fart jokes?

America Is Filled With Idiots

Watch this video and cry for our country because these idiots are voters.





Hooray to the one guy who understood the difference between Keynesian and Kenyan.

HT - I OWN THE WORLD

So Uh... What's Happening?

That is a great question.  I got on a creative kick and was churning out tons of stuff and then...

BLAMMO!

Nothing.

So I have just remained hopped up on painkillers so I can get through work and come home and... I guess do nothing.

So here I am at midnight.  I have missed the last couple of IAMFAIL deadlines, I have a great kid's story which has drug to a halt, a short zombie story I can't get past the basic idea of, TONS of illustrations I need to do AND, I need to do a lifesize cutout of Shaggy and Scooby for my kid's Fall Festival.

Instead, I eat and put weight on so my doctor can fuss at me when I show up to beg for pain pills.

Being FAT sucks. Having a bad back and being fat REALLY SUCKS.  I am moderately depressed right now, but I will get over it.  Just too much real work stuff going on and not enough time to get into PT or the doctor, so I just keep eating the painkillers.

*Sigh*

Not Dead Yet

I'm not dead yet. Just been too busy get any drawing done or funny (?) thoughts in blogs.

I hope you still love me.  I promise IAMFAIL will be returning soon.

Criminal Genius

We have a graffiti artist in our house.  We suspected Lucie for some reason, (look at this picture and see if you can figure out why).

Looks almost like a name!

THE WIFE quickly cornered the suspect "Lucie" and asked her WHY IN THE WORLD SHE WROTE ON THE WASHING MACHINE WITH A SHARPIE!!!!

Lucie proclaimed her innocence.  Further examination of the aforementioned graffiti revealed the following:

AHA!

The culprit's name isn't "Lucie" as we first believed;  rather, "Lucie M," which gives our precious princess an AIRTIGHT alibi.  After all, ANYONE can sign their own name, but who would think to add an "M" to throw the authorities off the trail?  She MUST be innocent!

Who You Gonna Call?

Being a musician, I laugh because I know it it true!

HT I Own The World one of my favorite places to hang out!

IAMFAIL - October 4th 2010

Better Late than never!

At Least I'm Not Getting Hugged By A Polar Bear

I think everyone knows where I stand on this crap. I just wonder how people would react if Glenn Beck made a video where people vote for Obama and then blow up...



HT to Big Fur Hat over at I Own The World!

November Is Coming

This video was posted over at Red State and it is extremely powerful.  I think this sums up how I feel better than any one so far.

IAMFAIL - September 24th 2010

Chick-Fiction

Twinkie Bliss

THE WIFE gave Sadie the first Twinkie of her life today.

I think she likes it.

Football Week 1!

It's that time of year again!

Compromise?

IAMFAIL - September 10th 2010

President Obama finally finds a way to stop Glenn Beck from spreading his message.

The EPA outlaws CHALK!

Why Do We Dial "9"

Despite everyone most people begging me not to, here is the explanation of why you must dial “9” to get an outside line at a business office.

Most business offices use what are called “Key Systems” in smaller offices.  Key systems are phone systems which usually have three or four telephone lines from the phone company and maybe a dozen or so phones in the office.

In the office callers use internal dialing which uses specific numbers of usually three to four digits.  An example would be, your phone extension is 100 and your boss’s extension is 110.  To call you your boss will pick up his phone and dial 100 and your phone will ring.

Did you fill out your TPS report?

Simple so far, right?

Now, with your boss calling you via your extension number the call only goes through the hardware of the key system, it doesn’t use any lines from the phone company.  This is good because it is cheaper and easy to make and remember the calls.  You see each line from the phone company costs money just like at home, think of paying $50 for each line.  Since each line only handles one call at a time, you can see why a phone system would be cheaper.  You only have to pay for as many calls in and out of the system you want each month.  Everything else is covered by the cost of the phone system, plus you can use built in features like voicemail and never use the telephone lines to the outside world.

Next when you need to dial out, why use a “9”?  The main reason is because in the United States we use what is called the “North American Numbering Plan.”  This means you have a specific way you have to dial numbers.  The LONG version is, you dial the country code, plus the area code, plus the prefix (or exchange) and the number.  (International calls are a whole different thing for another time.)

In the Dallas Area where I live, that breaks down like this:

1 – The country code specifying the United States

214 – The Area Code for the Dallas Area

640 – The Prefix for the Mockingbird Area of Dallas

XXXX – The “Number”

So if we dial 1214640XXXX, then using our numbering plan if we have an extension 121, as soon as we hit that point that extension will ring rather than the outside number we are trying to call.

Uhhhhh... Hi there.

Obviously this is a problem.  You will also run into other problems if you dial 10 digit or 7 digit numbers even.  Ten digit dialing in Dallas gives you a problem with 214640XXXX if you happen to be the poor guy with extension 214.  These are called “Number Conflicts.”

There are ways to deal with number conflicts.  One way is to use what is called "Time Out" to figure out what you want to dial.  This means the phone system will literally wait for 3 or so seconds after you finish dialing to make sure you aren't going to add any more digits.  When it "Times Out" the phone system will look for the closest match to whatever dialing patterns it has and route you accordingly.

This is great if you dial 1214640XXXX as the correct number of digits is met and your call goes out.  But now when you dial extension 121, you have to sit and wait for the phone system to "Time Out" before it dials.  Also if you fart dust and can't dial the number fast enough, you'll wind up ringing extension 121 when you are trying to call your granddaughter in Dallas who's number is 1, 214, uh.... something something.... Let me think.

Seriously? Again? Look it up BEFORE you start dialing.

Another, more popular way, to deal with number conflicts is to have people dial an otherwise unused digit to specify they are making an external call.  Most of the time that digit is a “9.”  I don’t know how we picked that number but it is what seems to be the main standard.  The other number is an “8;” “8” is used when people think their users can’t dial the digit “9” without accidentally dialing “911.”  The digit is called an “Escape Code” or “LCR Access,” “Trunk Access” or something like that.

Now, the way this works.  When you dial “9” the phone system is programmed to understand the digit 9 means an outside call.  Usually you will hear dial tone again after you dial it.  This is called “Second Dial Tone” and is a courtesy to let you know you are making an outside the system call.  The system then waits for the rest of the digits.  Once it has reached the number of digits necessary for a match to an outgoing template, it will send the digits out without the “9” routing your call to its destination.

Finally! This is where I wanted to go.

So the next time you see you local phone man, remember what a fabulous guy he is and how he makes life easy for you.

...and then flash him your boobies.  You'll make his day.

When Tennessee Makes Fun Of You

So sad... Like, forever sad.

Back Checkup And My New Doctor

I went to the doctor on Thursday and we talked about my crappy back. Basically I am really impressed with my new doc because not only is he OK to take care of the pain, he has a plan to aggressively treat the cause.

Basically the plan is I am going to start working on core strength and work my way into an exercise routine. No Situps, crunches or crap like that, but beginning yoga, cardio (swimming if possible) and weight lifting. He ran X-Rays and confirmed my disk space is good (no slipped disks) and has ordered an MRI for Thursday.

I was also very happy to hear that my disk space looks fine and he thinks bone spurs are the cause (as my last doc did). But my last doc just said, go to an orthopedic who told me, "Lose weight." Of course it's easy to say that, but when you back hurts too bad to get off the couch, it's tough.

We did get a call yesterday so I dropped by this morning. Apparently I have butter running through my veins, so Lipitor is in my short term future.

My goals are to lose enough weight to get off my blood pressure meds and get my cholesterol down. I also want to get my back in better shape and get off the pain medication. A change of priority is in order, especially where work is concerned. No longer will I be a slave to PHONECO as they have proven they can barely survive on their own.

On a side note I sent an email to the MONGO-UBER-BOSS pointing out our last information release we sent out mis-spelled our product's name twice in the same paragraph. Hard to convince people we are the folks who should be securing, monitoring and helping them set up their network when we can't even proof read our releases.

I'll keep everyone updated.

IAMFAIL - September 3rd 2010

Flava Flav finds an app for his iPad!

A Conservative Voice Speaks

I found this link over at I Own the World of a black lady just tearing apart a bunch of libs who can't argue with her logic.

This lady puts it out there and backs up her beliefs. I wish I knew her because I am proud to have people like her on my side.

God's Hand At Work

Since we have found our church and joined I was asked to lead a class of ladies through a small group study.  Why me, I don't know but for some reason Pastor George felt God wanted me there.

I've led it for a while know and after our last study series which we all hated, we moved to "Bad Girls of the Bible" which we have all been loving.

Long story short, through this group and our friendships I was talking with one of the ladies and she brought up Ben's old teacher.  This the teacher who was convinced we were just too soft on him and rather than acting the way he did because of Autism she felt he had behavior problems.

I made my displeasure obvious, and she stopped me and told me this was a good thing.  Turns out they know each other and I hadn't realized her daughter and Ben had been in second and third grade together.  Her daughter mentioned Ben to the old teacher and that they were together in Sunday School now.

Somehow some old note which Ben was accused of writing came up.  The note consisted of Ben writing all the different methods to kill this teacher.  The teacher asked my friend if she thought Ben had written it.

My friend said, "No."

She brought up the fact also, that her daughter had proclaimed Ben's innocence from the very beginning and had named the boy she felt wrote it.

The thing that meant the most to me was she also told me the teacher now had another autistic boy in her class and she was now actually following the standards set forth by our school district.  She is dealing with the Autism rather than just reacting to the behaviors associated with it.

She learned.  Thanks be to God; she learned.

One of the ladies made the statement that it was too bad she didn't learn with Ben, but I told her, if it hadn't been for that teacher we wouldn't have changed schools.  IF we hadn't changed schools we would never have met Ben's teacher Becky for fourth grade.  If we hadn't met Becky we would never have been invited to the church we were at now, and finally, if we hadn't visited our church, we would have never joined and we would have never been blessed with the friends we have now.

We don't always understand the path God sends us down, or why, but there is ALWAYS a reason to his plan.

A Right On Cartoon

My apologies but the day job got in the way of this weeks edition of IAMFAIL. This is not one of my comics, but I wish it was. The guy's name is Yogi Love and you can find more of his stuff at http://www.redplanetcartoons.com/ .

Its dark, but true.

Good Job Joe - From IOwnTheWorld.com

Too stinkin' funny so I had to link and steal.  Original can be found Here!

ScoDal Request

Scott Dallas put out a request on Twitter for people to tag items with "ScoDal" and then send him a picture.

I decided to one up him!

OUCH! JALAPENO UNDERWEAR!

TV I Am Excited About

OK, so AMC is premiering the series "The Walking Dead" based on the comic series.  I have only read the first episode of the comic, but I am jazzed by the trailer!

Star Wars - Silent Movie

I found this video over at Geeks of  Doom which reeked of awesomeness, so here it is for your enjoyment.

Back To School

Do the kids are back to school which means, LUNCH BAG ARTWORK!

Unfortunately I couldn't sleep Sunday night so Monday morning's bags are very Picasso-like.  This morning's bags were much better in my opinion.

Saw This Coming

Not much to add as I think this says it all.

http://www.wvec.com/news/local/US-Second-Fleet-in-jeopardy-as-DoD-trims-budget-101368049.html

Mythbuster Banned Episode

IAMFAIL - August 18th 2010

Obama's vacation nightmare!

I Will Never Forget

I remember.

I will never forget.

I swear.

Billy The Exterminator - Final

I had forgotten to follow up on this one but a commenter named Tux asked about it, so here it is.



I added a few things in the background as "Just Billy" was a bit too boring. Billy is anything but boring.

I also had to add poor Ricky in there too as he gets bitten, stung, dumped or eaten alive in most episodes. Dude is hard core!

Losing My Mind?

I am working from home today.

Not because I am sick or have an appointment.  Nothing like that.

I overslept.

What the heck?  I am 38 and haven't overslept for work since I was a teenager.  What an embarrassment.

Furthermore, I carpool into work, so I not only slept through my alarm, but I slept through my ride-share knocking on my door and calling my phone.

I am also on call, I would have slept through that if I had been called.

I don't know what the hell is going on with me.  I really seem to be losing my mind.

IAMFAIL - August 6th 2010

IAMFAIL - July 30th 2010

Bang Bang!

Don't worry about me shooting you if you break in my house.  Be afraid if my kid meets up with you!

I Know Too Much

There are days I wish I did not have the insight that I have as to what all is going on at work.  I write here because of a semi-anonymous way to blather to people who don't really know me or what is going on.

I just saw an email talking about how we need to make sure that company "X" doesn't get upset with us as they are still pushing our PBX.  We don't want them to stop pushing it also.

Also?  So I moved over to a department where I was promised I was working on the NEXT BIG THING, to find we are pissing people off left and right?

Wow.  Great career move huh?

Oh well, as a side note I am spending my free time prepping to get some extra cash in.  Hopefully I can start pimping out my wares.  We'll see.

Worse come to worse, I can be a phone man... Oh wait! ARRRRGH! I AM!

Messing With The Template

Yep, I got bored with the old one, so I will shift things around over the next little bit. I am inspired by Joel Watson creator of Hijinks Ensue. It's a three times a week web comic which he is using to try to make a go of it on his own.

His dream is my dream.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being lied to and disrespected in the corporate world, but I could really enjoy working from home doing drawings, making funny pics and designing shirts and stuff.

As I shift the blog around I will also be pimping my wares. I have shirts and stuff on CafePress and I will also be teaming up with some local folks to try to make some stuff which is cheaper and I will ship it out personally.

If anyone has any requests for drawings, shirts or anything in particular, I will do custom designs for a reasonable price and get them to you. Also anything on here you like, just let me know.

IAMFAIL - July 23rd 2010

A Moment To Complain

It has become obvious to me my time has come to move on from PHONECO so i will be looking.  I have often griped on the blog about this or that and certain things which torqued me, but I have been loyal to the company and done what was asked of me.

I cannot say that any longer.

The final straw began when I was moved into a temporary assignment and asked to cover a product I hadn't worked on for two years to help out as they were losing one of their support guys.  I immediately agreed and was enjoying myself fairly well. Until the second support guy turned in his notice to leave.  This group only had four people, so I thought it over and decided to apply for the open position.  My thinking was to get more Microsoft experience under my belt and not be so pigeon holed.

Long story short, I was given the position with a title change, but no money.  The money didn't bother me too bad as I understood things are tight, but since I have been screwed before by a title change with no money, I know that the money will not come later.  I respectfully asked for my title to remain the same.

I was denied.

Apparently management fought so hard for me to get money that the offer of a new title was all they could get and since they made such a huge fuss they don't want to go to the big boss and tell him that this underling is willing to do whatever for the exact same pay and title.  I guess I can understand that, but a snazzy title doesn't pay the bills.

Next up we were told we had to participate in mandatory vacation and take every Friday off to burn vacation hours off the books.  This is an accounting trick to free up cash as that way they don't have to show as much money on the ledger for the half.  I was moderately irritated but the family and I were taking vacation in August, so I wasn't exceptionally worried and actually was looking forward to the long weekends.

Well, apparently even though everyone was told to take off, tech support has to cover for all the days, plus after hours support.  This resulted in my vacation getting screwed so the family is now no longer taking a road trip for the vacation.  This is minor compared to two of my co workers as one has been out of the country for a month and has to take off still and the other who is going out of the country later in the year and also has to take off.  Obviously they don't have enough hours to cover this and management gives a big shrug of the shoulders to that with an "I don't know," when they are asked how they will handle that.

The last thing which set me off was me finding a write up over the weekend talking about how our sales are up 24% from last year.

I have the offer letter sitting on my desk.  I'm sure I will sign it as I will do what I have to do to take care of my kids, but I'll be damned if I will forgive them for this one.

Prepare Yourself

Wizbangblog has a piece on the 73,000 blogs shut down by the government last week for copyright infringement. Now keep in mind a very small minority of them had anything objectionable on them but the government shut the whole of Blogetery.com down.

If you have a website, I would suggest (as Wizbang does) to move it to your own server if possible, and back up religiously. They used the phrase that we were being driven underground and I have to admit, this instance of killing a fly with a Buick seems that way.

IAMFAIL - July 16th 2010

Sick Of It

Just tired of watching people who don't have a clue try to snowball those who do. I also looked at a competitor to PHONECO's phone system and just thought...

We do all of that too, what makes people think this thing is so great?

Beats me. All I know is I am being forced to clear off vacation in the first half of this year. Usually we don't have to do that until the second half.

Management, here is a suggestion, FIRE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T SELL and GET SOME WHO WILL!

Anyway, any time I have time, I am making cartoons, so eventually I'll... uh... do something with them.

Bless you all and I hope God takes care of each of you.

Long Term Thinking

This is boring work stuff that I am just wondering out loud, so you may want to leave.  I promise I have cartoons for the next few Fridays so hang around for those.  I am tired of missing deadlines.

Here at PHONECO we saw an email where a customer has a faulty fan in their Flux Capacitor unit.  They want the fan fixed, but they don't want to pay for the whole Flux Capacitor.  They are no longer under warranty so whatever happens, they will have to pay for it.

We respond back with, we don't normally fix just one component out of a Flux Capacitor and send it back, we just replace the whole unit, it's just easier to do things that way.  We also let them know NEW Flux Capacitors don't even have a fan, so the fact their old one gave out will cause no problems in their unit.

The customer still wants it replaced... Just the fan though because they don't want to pay for a whole new unit.  Apparently we will do this for goodwill and to keep the customer happy.

I completely agree with keeping the customer happy as customers are the ones who buy our equipment and services.  I want to do everything to keep them coming back.

BUT!

There comes a point where you have to say, I'm sorry, we can't do that.

Now for this ONE CUSTOMER, who hasn't bought anything in years (you can tell by the lack of warranty) we are going to get their Flux Capacitor, track it, fix it (with a fix that is now non-standard) and ship it back.  So we are doing special treatment and handling for this customer.

The customer who hasn't bought anything for years from us...

...and won't be buying anything for years from us.

I just don't understand why people whoa re in charge of things jump through flaming hoops for a dangling carrot.  It is OK if you work at Long John Silver's to tell a customer you don't make hamburgers.  Why is it not OK to tell this customer we won't do the mod, but they are welcome to go to Radio Shack and buy a fan to repair their unit.  It's not covered by warranty anyway?

Oh well, time for another cup of coffee.

Sneak Peek - Billy the Exterminator

Sadie is this guy's biggest fan (and I think she has a tiny crush on him).  I would not be surprised if I have to take a road trip to Louisiana very soon.

Billy the Exterminator
(Rough Pencil)

 Hope to ink it and add some color tonight.

Unreal

I pull after hour support for PHONECO and sometimes we get strange calls.  I now deal almost entirely with Voice Over IP so telephones running over your IP Network.  Kind of like Skype with phones like you would normally use for your office.

Over the weekend I got a support call stating the phones could not reach the server and the system was completely down.  I make the call and find out his DHCP server is down.  A DHCP server is what gives each piece of equipment on the network it's own specific ID number so it can send and receive information on the network.

IT IS NOT PART OF WHAT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR.

So while I am trying to be nice, I also am NOT assisting in helping the tech fix what he broke on his server.  My job is the phone system and the phone system only.  If I start telling him how to fix his network I open PHONECO up to all sorts of liability because that is NOT WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.

We charge for that.

My job is fix the phones.  If your server does not give out IP Addresses, you need to fix your server to give out IP Addresses.

This is like calling your mechanic to look at your car which is out of gas.

*Sigh*

Awesome Man Boobs

So we went with our church to a hotel to watch the fireworks from the pool last night. My fat man self eased myself into the hottub and was enjoying some quiet when I noticed some teenagers coming out to the hot tub. There were three of them, two boys and a young lady. One of the youths was an athletic young man, handsome and confident and the other was chubby.

Obviously I understood his pain.

See this young man started to take his shirt off and then promptly stretched it back on. His two friends started razzing on him for wearing a shirt in the pool.

The young lady was a lovely girl with dark skin and a wide smile. Her slender frame was perched on the edge of the hot tub and she taunted the chubby youth. "You're just wearing your shirt because your titties are bigger than mine!"

The athletic youth with her snickered and obviously pointed out to her she had just mad a crack about man boobs in front of an old white dude with large man jugs. She turned her head away so I couldn't see her embarrassed smile but I could see the stretch at the corner of her eyes ad the shaking shoulders of her buddy.

I looked her over from behind my mirrored sunglasses, "Don't worry," came my cold reply. "Maybe some day you'll actually grow some boobies."

The snickering stopped immediately and she had a shocked look on her face. The embarrassment growing deeper in her heart until with a tear in her eye she looked at me and replied, "I'm sorry mister. I should have been more cautious when choosing my words."

Yeah, that's what happened... In my mind. Ten minutes after the embarrassing comment.

What happened in real life in real time was I sat on the side of the hot tub (man boobs hanging out) and pretended not to hear the kids.

*Sigh*

Heartbroken

Our son Chris was in Chicago for United States Sea Cadet Corps basic training.  THE WIFE, Ben, Sadie and Lucie all packed up and went with me to get him.  We were excited to get the boy and were staying until Tuesday when we were driving back to Dallas.

Sunday we lost air conditioning at the house.  TBITB gathered the pets up and had them with him and was trying to keep them cool.  When he went to bed he kenneled the dogs up, but Cujo our Japanese Chin puppy didn't make it.  The heat was just too much for her.

THE WIFE and I are heartbroken and the girls are beside themselves right now.  I never knew such a little puppy could take up such a huge place in your heart.

God rest your soul, Cujo.  You were the best little puppy I ever owned.  I miss you and always love you.

Cujo 2009-2010

IAMFAIL - June 25th 2010

So I kick off my web comic with a picture of my comic rather than a scan because things just didn't come together.  This was from THE WIFE and the "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies" slogan.

Proof My Son Is Alive

Chris, my 13 year old is obviously alive and somewhat well.  He is in the Naval Sea Cadet Corps and is currently in Great Lakes, IL for training.  Just like regular boot camp, he can't call us, BUT they do post pictures.

Nice haircut!

Chris is the one in the Birth Control Glasses.  Thank God he wore those instead of his contacts otherwise we could NEVER find him in the pictures.  We'll see how he holds up.

One Coming Soon

THE WIFE and I have been talking it over and the technology market glut combined with my personal happiness has led me to the realization she is absolutely correct.  I need to branch out and find a way to make money with art and writing.

I announced it on twitter, but I am spreading out.  I am going to start at least a weekly web comic here (for now) and continue with my illustrations for editorial cartoons and humor.  I will also be starting up greeting cards for Birthday and other... um... awkward occasions, so anything you see on here that you like, contact me if you would like a shirt, print, card, poster etc... I am going into business for myself.

I will post the first episode of the web comic here on next Friday and it will post every Friday after that.  The comic name will be "IAMFAIL" inspired by my daughter Lucie.

The latest political cartoon I will put up by this weekend is in the works and if you follow me on twitter, you can already guess the details.

Spooky! You Betcha!

Wish me luck and thanks to all my friends out there.

Incest?

Back in 1985 the movie "Back to the Future" burst onto the scene and we LOVED IT!  The idea was Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) went back in time and met his parents before they fell in love.  The problem is him mom got the hots for him, which caused problems for his very existence.

If your mom got the hots for you and never met your dad, you would cease to exist.  But if that was the case how could you go back and steal your mom from you dad.

Time travel paradoxes kind of where the basis of the films and wrap up nerds for hours arguing points.  (Not to mention how confused THE WIFE gets trying to follow Back to the Future II and it's interweaving with the first movie).

But forget that, lets think about if your mom looked like Lea Thompson from the movie and was squeezing your leg under the dinner table.

Va va va VOOM!

Anyway, I digress.  Seriously, she was so hot back in the day that I am sure I am not the only young man who was tormented with the temptation to take a shot at... uh.... MOM? EWWWWWWWWWWW.

Oh jeeze, this is the kind of stuff reserved for Alabama jokes, but IT'S LEA THOMPSON DOGGONE IT!

Cute, innocent with those big brown eyes and the "I've never seen anyone with purple underwear before..."

She's lucky I met THE WIFE otherwise I might still be stalking her.  Of course I shaved my goatee off this week so THE WIFE is annoyed with me because I look like I am 12.

I'll be able to have a conversation with her again in two weeks when I have some semblance of scruff back on my chin.

Childhood Memories FAIL!

Growing up as a sheltered lad in the hills of East Tennessee I was kind of culturally...

devoid?  Is that the right word.  Sure.

OK, so I recall my Mom telling em Dad had a friend coming over from work and to be good.  I don't remember much from the lead up, but I seem to recall I wanted to impress him for some reason.  When eh came over there wasn't anything special except for...

he was a black man.

Me being the young, innocent, sheltered youth I was decided I needed to find common ground with Dad's friend so we could bond.  What would a small white redneck and a large black man have in common?  I reached deep into the recesses of my mind and said:

"Hey, hey, hey.  It's Fat Albert!"

Come on! Fat Albert was all the rage back then (the 70s') and besides.  The dude laughed his butt off, although I think Mom had a stroke.

Saw That One Coming

Chiggers!

Thank you to everyone for the encouragement.  I feel better and promise to not drag you all away from my inane ramblings and juvenile drawings.

As I believe I mentioned, we went camping over the Memorial Day weekend, I survived and we came back with as many children as we left with so it was a success. However I am enjoying a bunch of new friends...

That's right...

CHIGGERS!

Needless to say I am not pleased with this latest development, but I am looking on the bright side.  I got them on my feet.  Several of the boys who went camping with us got them in their "Special Place."

Whew...

Warning! Downer Post Ahead!

I am kind of in a funk.  Over the weekend I had an anxiety attack while camping and in my depression I started overthinking everything in my life.  Things suck when you love your family, are relatively happy with your job, are financially stable (mostly), have great friends, believe in God and still think about ending it all.

I decided to delete this blog as I never have time to write on it anymore and I have made one illustration in the last couple of months, but I hate to do it as the smart aleck side of me still needs an outlet from time to time.  Lets face it, 140 characters just isn't enough sometimes.

*sigh*

Tonight I got kind of depressed when I found out someone I enjoyed talking to from time to time unfollowed me on twitter.  Obviously I need to get out more.

In work related news, I am now working on the Windows Server based PBX we sell (again).  I was asked to move over because one of the support guys was leaving.  That would leave them with ONE which is NOT ENOUGH.  So I agreed to move over, then the second support guy got another job and left leaving us with ONE... Ie: me.

I found out today however, when ONE is ME, ONE is ENOUGH, for some reason.  OK, well the reason is cost cutting measures.  So I am the lead on tech support, and then we have a supervisor who backs me up and another engineer who's main job is DQA.  The supervisor floats between the two of us helping out.

I guess, I need to look on the bright side and enjoy the challenge.  Maybe I need to update my Linked In account.

Lost In Translation?

So anyway while we were gone to Tennessee for my Grandmother's funeral we left The Boy In The Box (tm) behind to guard the house and feed the critters.

Friday before we came back our buddy Uncle Louie (tm) told TBITB that he would come over the next day to help him mow the yard for us. TBITB agreed so it was settled.

The next afternoon Uncle Louie (tm) shows up with the mower and TBITB is nowhere to be found. With steely determination he fires up the mower and resolves to pretend to not speak English to anyone who complains about him being at our place.

Once the job is done he loads everything up and heads back to his place. On the way his phone rings, it's TBITB.

"Hey," TBITB says, "I don't have to work tomorrow so you can come by any time you want to clean the house."

...

Apparently Uncle Louie (tm) is Spanish for Groundskeeper/Maid in TBITB's world.

Mary Kate Vincil

First off thank you to all my friends for your thoughts and prayers as we dealt with the loss of my Grandmother. While we will all miss her we all sincerely believe she is now in a place where she is with her family which has gone on before her. Now she walks with no pain and the only tears which fall are tears of joy.


"Granny" as she insisted everyone call her was 89 years old at the end of her life; she outlived a husband and two sons and left behind three daughters, four grandchildren, five great-grandchildren and countless other people who knew and loved her.



I wanted to include this photo of her, her sister and two of her brothers. Granny is the little girl on the right.

They knew hardship and poverty as well as love, discipline and hope. I hope to someday be as strong and as good a person as she was.


Rest easy Granny. I'll see you someday and we'll rejoice together in Heaven.

Mary Kate Vincil

May 10, 1921 to May 18, 2010

My Grandmother

My Grandmother on my mother's side is in Critical Care and we believe she will pass soon.  If you are inclined, please pray for her comfort and for strength for my family.

Thank you all.  I will try to keep updates.  We may travel to Tennessee to be with her.

(FYI Burglars, not EVERYONE will be traveling if we go.)

Tech Support Fallacy

So blogging has been ridiculously light and I am sorry for it.  Not that I think you all are crushed that I am not here, but because I don’t get to link to the insanity of my life.

A great example of this is the fact I am covering another department, so I now am not supporting traditional PBXs but I am now working on our server based PBX.  Right now this is temporary, but I may go permanent.  All in all, this is a good thing as I enjoy working on it and think it’s a good system but I have to get back up to speed on my Microsoft stuff, Server 2003, Server 2008, DNS, DHCP and scopes and my nemesis…. Exchange (2003 and 2007).

A great example is my first call yesterday.  The tech starts off with his voicemail is down.  Our voicemail directly integrates with Microsoft Exchange so if you can’t get to the voicemail it’s because we can’t access Exchange for some reason.  Question number two was, “What has changed on the network.”

The reply, “I asked the network guys and they said ‘Nothing.  Nothing has changed, it just stopped working.’”

We spend hours drilling here and there, me and my co-workers when finally we check a registry entry which points to the server we use to get Active Directory and DNS information to find the Exchange Server.  I ping it and…

Nothing happpens.

We then run the “Set” command to find out who validated this server and change the registry entry to point to that Domain Controller.  A quick restart of the Services and BADA-BING we are back in business.

I’m cleaning up a couple of other things with the tech and he then pops the customer on the line with us.  The customer asks what the problem was.  I make the statement that the server “BLAH-BLAH-BLAH.DOMAIN.LOCAL” was removed which caused our problem.

The reply was, “Oh we didn’t remove it, we just replaced the server… We’ll actually “upgraded’ it.”

OH. MY. GOODNESS. WHAT. THE. FISHSTICKS?

So basically the very first thing the tech asked and the first thing we ask “WHAT WAS CHANGED ON THE NETWORK?” apparently doesn’t count  if you are working on DOMAIN CONTROLLERS!!!!

(sigh)

In the spirit of looking on the bright side of things, I learned a lot of good things from the ignorance of certain IT people.

I Am So Buying This!

Too bad I have a Garmin right now.

Hello Monday!

I start off my day with this:

EEEEEKKKK!!!

So now that this is cleared, I have some kind of meeting request from a dude concerning his Cisco Router setup.  Basically it is modifying his SIP SDP data and his trunking provider is barfing.

The good news is, my box is sending the correct data,

Yea ME!

Just Because I Am Lazy

Yeah, yeah. Deep thoughts... Yadda yadda yadda.

oooo Muppets!

Caption This

OK, I need some interaction.  Take this picture and caption it for me in the comments.  The winner will get to see his or her saying in LOCat form!

I introduce you to our supreme commander Sato.

Fire away!