Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Letting Go Of Being Bitter

I'm a long way from a perfect person but tonight I realized I am tired of sitting by and being unhappy because I go along with people's poor choices.  I'm ready to change that.

The long story is, I watched a band I loved in my youth called ALL.  Through the modern marvel known as YouTube I can watch videos from the early days of punk music through the modern era.  I have watched a show from the first tour I saw ALL on to a 2014 show in Austin and I have managed to feel a tiny bit of the spark that made me pick up music.

I realized I WANT TO PLAY.

Not just play, but play fast, loud and with energy.  I want to enjoy playing music again, not just do it because it's expected of me.

I've let my bad back, my job, my... whatever, insert your excuse here, block me from playing the music I love.  I've contented myself with playing for my church.  I've been blessed to do so, but I'm very, very frustrated with the direction we're taking.  We've changed music directors and I'm tired of the selection, there is no challenge to the music, there is no organization, there is no drive...  No one cares.  Christian music can be fun, energetic and challenging.  It doesn't all have to be music which sucks the life out of the musician to play.

We're supposed to be giving God our best and we aren't.  Every rehearsal I start the day off looking forward to showing up.  I know I get to play music and I get pumped, I drag out the Fender or the Epiphone, depending on my mood, and show up.  I set up my music and get ready and we start.  Immediately someone says, "How does this song go?"  Then we hear, "I haven't had a chance to rehearse this one." and on and on.

The guy running sound  either isn't listening, or is blaming the equipment because he can't figure out the monitor mix.  "I've got you cranked up all the way." or "This channel in the soundboard must be bad."is the excuses thrown out.  Of course, if someone goes up and changes the group settings on the monitor then *Light Shines From Heaven and Angels Sing*, it's a miracle, the monitors work.

We normally run through the songs once during rehearsal.  We may work on a bridge or transition, but there is no real guidance, no drive.  It seems like no one cares. We'll, I do and I'm tired of coming home upset because we sound like crap and play "Days of Elijah" every other week.  It's time.  I'm slinging on the Fender, breaking out the big rig (my Ampeg and the 2x15 cab) and getting out to play real music again.

I'm playing loud, fast and with drive again.  I can praise God with my music that doesn't suck.  I'm going to have fun again and my bad back can go to Hell.

Whew... I feel better now.  Thanks.