How To Poop Effectively

Thanks to the internet and Reddit I now have instructions on the correct way to poop.

For maximum effective spray DO NOT SIT!!!

As a man who has had to follow someone into a completely destroyed Men's room, I understand why this is necessary.  There have been times when I have seriously considered using the sink.  In the end I wound up leaving and suffering through the discomfort.

How does one manage to spray poop UP A WALL???  I know it happens, I've seen it.

The memory haunts me.

The Farce Awakens

Dude... The trailers for The Phantom Menace looked good too.

Plus side, no Jar Jar and no George Lucas.

Minus side... I'm sure there will be many.

Labor Day Show

Well, we made it.  Despite an amp that was brought in that was supposed to be better than my backup amp, my main amp still being in the shop and almost falling out from heat exhaustion we made it.

Photo Credit: Chad Fenner

I. Had. Fun.

Yeah, my feet were burning in the sun.

The guys and I played Biker Bash 2015 in Granbury, TX right before national acts, Scarlet White, Shonlock, Seventh Day Slumber and Fireflight.

Now, the guys have another bass player auditioning who will be with them in Amarillo, TX for that show and then they decide who they want going forward.

It was fun, I totally expect them to chose the other guy.  I think despite the fun I had, my style is just not quite what they are looking for.  Plus I'm 43 years old and 300 pounds.  I just don't look Rock and Roll anymore.

Hopefully the new guy will rock out and they can move their ministry forward.  Please pray for the continued success of the 7 Days from Sunday ministry.  They are reaching out to people who may not have ever heard the Gospel, or if they have, don't realize you can actually have a GOOD TIME praising God.

Tales Of Woo? Tips of Woe?

Have you wanted to write a book?  I know I have.  Why don't you?

BECAUSE IT'S HARD!!!

That's right, it takes skill and dedication to write a book.  When people do, they often suck.  Seriously, go read one.  I'll wait...

Back yet?  Yep, I told you.  You read a book and think, "How did this thing get published?"  We then, I've got an anomaly in the book world for you.  I was treated to a pre-release copy of Rodney Lacroix's book, "Romantic as Hell (Tales of Woe, Tips of Woo)" and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

NOT THIS GUY!!!

I do have to admit up front that I wondered how he wound up knowing what I had done wrong through all my romantic encounters.  THE WIFE can certainly tell you about the time she was expecting a engagement ring and I gave her a map (don't ask).  Or all the times I complimented her with things I thought were fantastic compliments that put me in the doghouse.

Apparently I am not the only guy who does these things.  Let's face it men, women think differently than we do.  We need someone to guide us through these things.  Someone, who can let us know what the target of our wooing wants.

Fortunately for losers like me in the world Rodney has covered the do's and don't's for being "Romantic as Hell".

See how I worked the title in there?  That's awesome writing in action!

If you've had the chance to read Rodney's previous books... "Wait" you say, "Didn't you say 'Writing is hard'?  You mean Rodney has more than ONE book?"  Why yes, he does.  In addition to Things Go Wrong For Me" (Finalist – 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor) and Finalist – 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor) as well as his second book "Perhaps I've Said too Much".  Both of these books are great for making you realize your life isn't as bad as you think after all.
"Romantic as Hell" Rodney has written "

National Man of Mystery Rodney Lacroix

Where was I?  Oh yes, if you've read Rodney's previous books you have an idea of what to expect; humor (sometimes potty humor, sometimes self degradation but always too much information).  When you finish you understand why people sometimes ignore all those warnings on anti-psychotic drugs and take the plunge.  "Romantic as Hell" is a great laugh a minute book that covers the do's (questionable sometimes, but hey, it's your time on the couch, not mine) and the don't's (DEFINITELY DON'T'S) of wooing your object of...  woo?

I don't want to spoil anything as you just need to take the plunge and enjoy getting to know Rodney and his take on life.  If you don't take anything else from the book, take this one truth.

TEDDY BEARS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS WE MEN THINK THEY ARE!!!!

Don't be a "Ross"!

Lesson learned, Rodney.  Thank you from a man who is not sleeping on the couch this week.

If you'd like to know more, you can always read additional information on Rodney at his website: http://www.rodneylacroix.com/ or follow him on twitter at: https://twitter.com/moooooog35.

You will not be disappointed.

Obamacare AKA The Giant Sucking Sound From Washington

Interesting read regarding Walker's insurance plan at the LA Times.

I'm not jumping on a real bandwagon for anyone yet.  It's far too early and I am very, very amused watching Trump make everyone's heads explode.  What caught my attention on this article is how we can solve the monstrous thing known as Obamacare without:

1. Screwing over the people that have benefited from it
2. Driving us to bankruptcy

I have several friends who have finally gotten health insurance. They have either been self employed or had a pre-existing condition which kept them from getting insurance.

I DO NOT WANT PEOPLE WHO NEED INSURANCE TO NOT HAVE IT!!!

I have opposed Obamacare from far before Nancy Pelosi said "We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it."  I do not trust government.  If a bill is well over a thousand pages, passes on a strictly partisan basis and bypasses the limitations imposed on the federal government in the Constitution there is something wrong.  I also severely doubt any figures used either for or against Obamacare's cost.

Cost is a big problem... That's another rant though.

It makes a great soundbite to say you will "End Obamacare on day one!" but in actuality this is a hugely complex law affecting almost every single American in one way or another PLUS it has had six years to worm its way in.  It can't simply be thrown out or the vacuum left behind will be worse than what the politicians are trying to fix.

Solutions... I don't have one yet.  Allowing access across state lines is a great start.  Eliminating restrictions on pre-existing conditions is another.  Of course the flip side to the pre-existing condition is insurance companies are businesses which employ people and we can't crush them with a flood of people they can't pay for.

The important thing is to follow a very important rule regarding Obamacare: "First, do no harm."

The Lowest Health Point In My Life

A buddy took this photo and shared it. I have to admit I am hugely dismayed (along with just plain HUGE).

I'm the fat guy in the pink coral shirt on the left

I have let my weight get out of control (again). I have fought my weight all my life. I eat because I'm not happy, or I'm stressed. I eat FAST because I always feel like I have to get to the next thing and I have let my back pain block me from doing anything relating to exercise.

I hurt, so I am inactive, I am inactive so I get fatter, I get fatter which puts more strain on my back.

Basically #Wah

So, this is posted today to show the lowest point in my health life. I am not letting this kill me. This time, I am asking for God's help to get me healthy.  I've done this on my own and I fail, I need God to get me right.

Here I am after doing Body for Life:

Check out the handsome fellow in orange
(The baby is pretty cute too)

This is AFTER I started putting weight back on.

I can't handle this anymore. I am taking it one step at a time. God, please be my guide.

Prayers are appreciated.

Monthly Check-In

Time for the Monthly check-in.

My back is still terrible... Meh...

I am trying out for a band.  I am kind of excited about this one because it is a Christian Hard Rock band.  I really like the guys in the band and I'm having a great time jamming with them and learning their stuff.  I should know if the next bit if I'm in or not, but whatever happens I'm leaving it up to God.

THE WIFE (She Who Must Be Obeyed) is doing well as are the kids.  Ben is still Ben and has adapted to High School very well.  Despite what he thinks I think of him, I love him and I am very, very proud of him.

Chris has graduated and is looking at a career in law enforcement.  I'm running a doc through the printer for him as I type for his next phase of the interview process.

Andrew (The Boy in the Bubble) has his own family.  A lovely wife and daughter who I adore and he is a hard working father.  He puts his family first and I am extremely proud of him.

The girls are their adorable selves.  Always with smiles, whines or random acts of annoyance they make my day.  Lucie is a Whovian (although she is a HUGE fan of the 12th doctor and I'm still not there yet) while Sadie is my Scooby Doo buddy.  I secretly fear she only watches the show to amuse me, but hey, WHATEVER WORKS AMIRIGHT?

I hope my friends are doing well.  I have asked Lucie and Sadie to contribute cartoons to the blog, but nothing yet.  We'll see how the future goes.

Thoughts On The New State Of Marriage

Homosexual marriage is now Federal law.  Or rather the states no longer have the right to accept marriage as only between one man and one woman.

So what's the big deal?

As I've gotten older I realized the "Slippery Slope" argument is very valid.  I couldn't understand it when I was younger, but unfortunately age has proven it to be true.  In the 90's I remember the agument for Civil Unions for gay couples came up.  It was overwealmingly unpopular.  The argument at the tme was that would lead to Gay Marriage.

"No, that's not what we want", was the reply.

Yet, here we are.

"Polygamy will never be an issue, this is not about polygamy and it is an insult to compare the two."

I'm willing to bet money on what is next.  You see, once you change something that has been a religious anchor of Western culture it opens the door for other arguments.

The polygamists can now argue that their rights are being infringed because they cannot marry the two or three men or women they love.  The laws were changed to allow one man and one man to be "Married" or one woman and one woman to be "Married", why limit marriage to only "Two People"?

Don't you love?  Can't love win?  Why are you so Poligaphobic?

You are such a Hater! #H8tr

When the definition of an institution (or the word itself changes) then you can't morally say that it can't change for another group.  The new "Marriages" are not a commitment before God, they are a government contract.  I don't expect polygamy to be the end of this abomination.  Marriage between son and mother?  Marriage between father and daughter?  Marriage beween two brothers?  Why not?  Only those "Nutty Christians" who "Cling to their guns and religion" syand opposed.

The fact the Federal Government is now defining a "Marriage" is exactly why we on the right were so opposed to changing it.

The box is open, Pandora.  There is no closing it.

The Art Of Troubleshooting

I've worked tech support for a long time.  Too long actually.  I've watched people come and go, new ideas get implemented and then tanked, old ideas rehashed as new ideas and then tanked.  The one thing that is constant is the methodology of troubleshooting.

I'd like to say it's an art.  It is a skill but I don't know if it can actually be taught.  I've seen a lot of people that can pass all these wonderful tests that crap themselves when a down system call comes in.

Case in point: Down system with a HIGHLY AGITATED customer.  His boss is yelling at him, the users are yelling at him.  Everyone wants the system back online but no one seems to know how to get to that state.

Phones are offline but powered up.

The server is running.

The Phone switch is running.

The IP Network is working for everyone.

Tier 1 gets the call and the customer explodes on them.  They want to troubleshoot as they have been down for over an hour and need this fixed immediately.

Troubleshooting has to begin with the flow of data.  Data is life.

Approach the problem from the most likely to the least likely point of failure.  The phones are down and are all in the same physical building.  They span across multiple phone switches, but the same phone switches that have some non-working phones have working phones.

The customer reset phones and the phone switches and things didn't fix themselves so he called TAC (which is the right thing to do when you are stuck).  The only thing I can fault him on was panicking when things went South.

Panic. Never. Helps.

Follow the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's rule: "Don't Panic".

In this case we had to look from Most Likely to Least Likely.  It is HIGHLY unlikely that 50 phones all suddenly go bad at exactly the same time with exactly the same symptoms.  Think from the phone out.

Phones are network devices first and foremost.

Does the phone have power? Yes
Does the phone boot up? Yes
Can the phone get a DHCP address? No
Does it come up with a cached IP address? Yes
Can you ping the phone's IP address from the server? No
Can you ping the phone's IP address from the phone switch? No
Can you ping the server from the phone? No
Can you ping the phone switch from the phone? No

From these quick tests we've determined the phone is getting power from the network POE switch (so likely the network cable between the phone and network switch is OK).  The phone boots up which indicates internally the phone is OK (no hardware/firmware failure).  The phone DOES NOT get an IP address (potential network problem).  The phone does indicate it's using its cached DHCP address (so the network used to work) but you cannot ping it from the phone equipment it has to connect to in order to operate.  You also cannot ping the phone equipment from the phone sooooo... SURVEY SAYS????

*ding*           IP Network Problem!

Rebooting the network switch the phones connected to corrected the problem and the phones logged in successfully.  Total time to identify the point of failure was around 10 minutes.

I'm not bashing the customer AT ALL.  I just want to use this to give an example of how important clear thinking, identification of the problem and an understanding of data flow is to proper troubleshooting.

Hypothetical Question

Claudia over at iotwReport.com had a post about the Commies (ie: the Left) choosing our candidates for us in the elections. Specifically they are telling us how Sarah Palin is not electable.

I (and several other readers) completely disagree with that notion. One thing that did come to my mind is, what if the Democrats succeed in eliminating Palin from the elections? What is she "Went Rogue"(tm) and decided to run as an Independent?

I would vote for her. Would you? I wondered how many might:

Viola!

Who would you vote for in 2016?

Republican: Jeb Bush

Democrat: Hillary Clinton

Independent: Sarah Palin

Poll Maker

I'm curious. Feedback on if I'm throwing my vote away!