Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Holiday Drinking

OK, so technically this is the day after Christmas so it isn't a holiday unless you're in Canada. If you're in Canada happy Boxing Day to you.

As for me today is the day after Christmas, also known as The Day My Dogs Continually Take A Dump On My Carpet Day.

OK, so as one of my Facebook friends keeps telling me, they aren't really "Doggy."  I can't argue too much with that.  Seriously, look at them:

Look at these steely-eyed man eaters. Grrrrr.
Yes, to paraphrase her, "They look like cats."  Well, these so-called cats have been taking dump after dump on my carpet this holiday season.  Seriously, they are just dogfood processing factories where their only product is poop... and production is in overtime.

I know a normal dog's digestive system involves "Eat" followed shortly thereafter by "Poop."  This is a dog thing.  Cats are apparently embarrassed by the need to go make dookie (suspiciously like your aunt Frannie... just saying) so they hide in a "Box" and then cover up the evidence.

These so called "Cat-Like Dogs" not only do not hide their poop, they display it with pride. Usually positioning it in the middle of the most trafficked area of my home.  Not only is this annoying, imagine the magic of Christmas being spoiled by the aroma of canine poo wafting through your home.

Yeah, takes away doesn't it.

Plus adding to the love of the cat/dog mixture or cross breed or whatever the crap they are (they are Japanese Chins, but go with me here, I'm on a tear here) they eat every three minutes (the cat side) and poop immediately afterwards (the dog side).  So over a sixty minute period they can process a metric crapton of poop.

Not actual poop, these are some cookies a friend who shall remain nameless made.  Ha ha... I'm laughing... really...
Anyway, so as I clean up poo at three minute intervals, please keep me in your prayers as I have decided the last Zima in the back of the fridge is calling me.  I don't have a drinking problem so don't worry about that.  Poop is my only problem, so just pray I do not bar-b-que the dogs.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all my friends on the internet, or as law enforcement refers to you "My Stalkers," may you have a wonderful week and a wonderful New Year.  My lack of sanity should result in more blogging and tweeting.

Hopefully more drawing too.


Anonymous said...

Do you have a recipe for these cookies? Happy Halloween!!

Jeniffer Kearns said...

I would love to have the recipe as well.