Monday, July 05, 2010

Awesome Man Boobs

So we went with our church to a hotel to watch the fireworks from the pool last night. My fat man self eased myself into the hottub and was enjoying some quiet when I noticed some teenagers coming out to the hot tub. There were three of them, two boys and a young lady. One of the youths was an athletic young man, handsome and confident and the other was chubby.

Obviously I understood his pain.

See this young man started to take his shirt off and then promptly stretched it back on. His two friends started razzing on him for wearing a shirt in the pool.

The young lady was a lovely girl with dark skin and a wide smile. Her slender frame was perched on the edge of the hot tub and she taunted the chubby youth. "You're just wearing your shirt because your titties are bigger than mine!"

The athletic youth with her snickered and obviously pointed out to her she had just mad a crack about man boobs in front of an old white dude with large man jugs. She turned her head away so I couldn't see her embarrassed smile but I could see the stretch at the corner of her eyes ad the shaking shoulders of her buddy.

I looked her over from behind my mirrored sunglasses, "Don't worry," came my cold reply. "Maybe some day you'll actually grow some boobies."

The snickering stopped immediately and she had a shocked look on her face. The embarrassment growing deeper in her heart until with a tear in her eye she looked at me and replied, "I'm sorry mister. I should have been more cautious when choosing my words."

Yeah, that's what happened... In my mind. Ten minutes after the embarrassing comment.

What happened in real life in real time was I sat on the side of the hot tub (man boobs hanging out) and pretended not to hear the kids.



Falahime said...

Kids are the worst. And I say shit all the time that I later realize was hurtful. I was also a shirt-while-swimming wearer, not because of my big boobs (I wish!) but because of my big belly. I haven't worn a swimsuit in public since I was...10, maybe?

Houston said...

Yep kids can be cruel, but mainly I have learned to ignore them.

I finally realized that the reason teenagers get away with so much is because people wind up relating back to when they were kids and didn't know how to handle things in high school even though we are adults now.

And the fact I could have beat the crap out of all three of those kids at the same time. Old people don't fight fair, someone would lose an ear.