Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Warning! Downer Post Ahead!

I am kind of in a funk.  Over the weekend I had an anxiety attack while camping and in my depression I started overthinking everything in my life.  Things suck when you love your family, are relatively happy with your job, are financially stable (mostly), have great friends, believe in God and still think about ending it all.

I decided to delete this blog as I never have time to write on it anymore and I have made one illustration in the last couple of months, but I hate to do it as the smart aleck side of me still needs an outlet from time to time.  Lets face it, 140 characters just isn't enough sometimes.


Tonight I got kind of depressed when I found out someone I enjoyed talking to from time to time unfollowed me on twitter.  Obviously I need to get out more.

In work related news, I am now working on the Windows Server based PBX we sell (again).  I was asked to move over because one of the support guys was leaving.  That would leave them with ONE which is NOT ENOUGH.  So I agreed to move over, then the second support guy got another job and left leaving us with ONE... Ie: me.

I found out today however, when ONE is ME, ONE is ENOUGH, for some reason.  OK, well the reason is cost cutting measures.  So I am the lead on tech support, and then we have a supervisor who backs me up and another engineer who's main job is DQA.  The supervisor floats between the two of us helping out.

I guess, I need to look on the bright side and enjoy the challenge.  Maybe I need to update my Linked In account.


Falahime said...

Who unfollowed you? You need me to kick their ass?

On a serious note, even though I don't have kids and don't work in tech, I sympathize. I've been depressed lately too and I feel like a dick for feeling that way when I have a tight fam, a job(s), and no real legitimate complaints. But as I told someone just the other day, depression doesn't need a cause or a reason, it just is.

Anyway, I'm here for ya. You know where to find me.

Christine said...

I'm glad that you decided not to delete this blog - I enjoy your posts, no matter how long in between!

As someone who also suffers from depression and anxiety, I know how tough it is. Usually it helps me to remember that it is just my nerves misfiring and the reason for the depression and anxiety isn't as bad as my dumb nerves think. (Well, remembering that and taking medicine for the dumb nerve synapses!) (Hugs)

furiousBall said...

buddy, if you need to find something to have faith in these interwebs friendships... look at me. you and i honestly couldn't have more different political points of view. and yet, over the past couple of years we've give multiple shout outs for both of our endeavors (i still pester my librarians to stock your book) and seriously, your blog has banners for both me and my gf's business. we love you a lot big fella, don't go no wheres

Jenn said...

Hang in there my friend and please don't delete you website. It's the only way I see what is going on with you guys anymore. We really need to get together. Derick and I both miss seeing you guys!
I understand how you feel and I think it's just the seasons of life. The good news is, it always gets better. And you know that. The devil does a good job of telling us life sucks...but you know the TRUTH! Just keep your head up and love on that amazing family you have. Lifting you up! Love to you guys! JennMar

K T Cat said...

You have a role to play in God's plan. Perhaps this blog has touched someone's life in a positive way that you'll never know. Perhaps it has yet to do so.

Don't stop trying to do what's right.