Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Ralphie May And Date Night

Saturday THE WIFE and I are going to the Addison Improve to see Ralphie May perform. We became fans of him when he appeared on "Last Comic Standing" and somehow lost out to Dat Phan. Dat is a funny guy, but he runs over the same material too much. For example the joke about him getting asked in the bathroom if he knows Karate because he has fluid movements "FINISH HIM! FATALITY!" has been told pretty much every time I have seen him on TV since he won.

Sad.

BUT! We will be enjoying a night out by ourselves. Sitter for the kids (AKA Andrew). It's a date night and we aren't going to Wal-Mart.

Anyone in Dallas want to go? We are going to the Saturday show. Leave me a comment if you might.

Mah Werkout Rootine

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Let Me Save You A Dollar!

 Here is my review of the Will Ferrell movie "Land of the Lost" now being shown at Cinemark dollar theaters in Texas.

It sucked.

OK, I realized that is not a very good review.  Let me expand on it, we went on 50 cent night and I felt jipped.  I rate this movie as one of my top three most hated movies ever.  Number one will always be the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes," Number two is "Squirm" and coming in at number three was "Land of the Lost."

Here is a synopsis of the story.  Will Ferrell plays a scientist who comes up with an idea on dimensional travel.  He, his traveling partner and a redneck named Will get transported to the Land of the Lost.  They try to get home.

That pretty well sums it up.  Halfway through the movie, Lucie began asking THE WIFE if we could go home.  I have to admit there were several scenes which made me grin and one gag where I actually laughed out loud.  Thankfully that humor was there so I didn't have to eat nine millimeters of hot death.

High point of the movie: Other than the ending... Will Ferrell's character gets eaten by a dinosaur! (I was kind of surprised the audience didn't cheer at this point.)

Low point of the movie: Will Ferrell's character does not die from being eaten.

Lucie's synopsis.  "It was tewwibow!"

Monday, July 27, 2009

I Have To Admire A Gator?

Allright, as much as it sucks for a Tennessee fan to admit, Tim Tebow is not only a talented athlete, but I am very impressed with him as a Christian.

At an SEC media day he was asked if he was a virgin. Tim stated he was an apparently has no plans to change that before marriage.

It's rare in this day and age for someone who actually practices what he preaches and backs up what he says. I really do recommend reading the article and finding out more about this young man.

Thank you Mister Tebow for keeping what is important in life in the front.  Thank you for being a good Christian.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Please VOTE!

All,


I know you are all painfully busy, but if you have a second, please go to my wife’s blog and vote for a name for Lucie’s new pet Guinea Pig. She is sitting by the computer waiting for votes.

http://bitsofpoop.blogspot.com/

I have already voted and I am going to watch more Chad Vadar episodes.

Thanks,
Houston

-------------------------
UPDATE!

Pictures of the guinea pig and Lucie are up!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Chad Vadar - Episode I

Man, if this video had fried potatoes in it, it would be PERFECT!


Am I phoning it in? Do I suck?

NAH! I got a giggle out of it.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Glen Beck's Head Exploded

I don't even HAVE to try to come up with new material. It just keeps landing in my lap. I found this one over at Little Green Footballs.


Even MORE Fun With Barry

Justin gave me a heads up on this. I missed an even better angle on Barry's pitch.




Ah, better and better.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

More Fun With Barry

I am picking on the Prez again.  Sorry, can't help it.

I did finally find an angle other than the one FOX used which shows the actual pitch and the plate.  Watch the video, he didn't bounce it because Pujols  was on the plate and leans out to catch the ball.




OH.MY.GOODNESS!

Thank you ESPN for letting me see what FOX hid.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Springtime For Hitler!

Sorry for the technobable post I put up earlier in the week.  Frustration boiled over at a guy with a bunch of letters (CCNA, CCIE, CWNA, MSCE, MCP, etc..) after his signature not understanding a basic concept.

Of course it does get THE WIFE all hot and bothered... (growl)

Anyhoo.  I wanted to share with all of my tens of readers the recent discovery I made.  As you all well know I work for PHONECO and occasionally I don't understand what their thinking is.  A decision is made to push some produc that doesn't work very well, or to send development dollars to improve a product that isn't selling and feedback indicates there is no market interest in.  These decisions often puzzled me and many of my PHONECO brothers and sisters.

Not anymore. I figured it out.

Do you remember the Mel Brooks movie, "The Producers"?  Two guys decide they can put on a broadway play and insure it so if it fails they make a TON of money.  The kicker is then they TRY to find a play so bad it HAS to fail.

I think maybe PHONECO has figured out a way to make a ton of cash if the company goes under.  Everybody wins!

Wait... I don't! CRAP!

Oh well, enjoy the play from the "The Producers," "Springtime for Hitler!"


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I Hate QSIG

Non techie people may want to run away right now...

I am in a fight with a Call Manager tech who keeps asking me stupid questions.  I made a simple request because I spotted a particular message being sent across the QSIG link.  There was a request from the Call Manager to light a Message Waiting Lamp sent to our PBX.  We don't do that so we barfed on it.

We told our tech to tell the Cisco guys to turn that off in their box so we could go on as that was most likely the problem.

Problem is these guys finally turned one off and then they started complaining we were sending the messages to them.  We check and see some, so I point out they are still sending them to us from another link.  I ask once again for them not to send the messages to us.  I this time specified all links.  They also pointed out I had told them we would drop any request not for our PBX. I let them know I believed we would... apparently I was wrong.

I also asked if since they stopped the MW request from the main Call Manager, if they are still having the problem.  No answer.

Then I get a question "Well if that is the problem why isn't it affecting other links or PBXs?"

My answer was basically I don't know and I am not 100% sure what the final problem will be, but I wanted to get rid of what was definitely a problem.

I have spent the better part of my day wasting time replying to this knob's email requests askings tupid questions.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Master Plan

Have you ever wondered what your company is thinking when they make some goofy decision?  I know I have and I am not alone.  A group of fellow underlings and I were wondering over some of the terrible business decisions being made when it hit me???

"SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER!"

Of course everyone looked at me like I am an idiot. Then I explained. The company is following the premise behind the movie "The Producers."  In the movie two guys figure out they can put on a broadway show and insure it in such a way that if it tanks, they will be rich.  So they find a terrible script called "Springtime for Hitler" and proceed to make a terrible show.

Somehow the company has figured out a way to get insanely rich by going into bankruptcy.

(Don't laugh, look at GM.)

Now the big question is, will I be killed off because I know too much.  We have begun saying "Springtime for Hitler" to each other every time we hear a stupid decision.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I Met Andy Kaufman?

Well with all the fuss over Michael Jackson kicking the rhinestone covered bucket I decided to be a total smart alec and start making fun of the situation.  When FrankJ over at IMAO twitted that it would be a great idea for Andy Kaufman to pop out of Jackson's coffin at the funeral I squirted chocolate milk out of my nose laughed and made a mental note of it.

Of course someone I followed had to make a comment about "What did they miss?" so I had to TOTALLY send a tweet about Andy jumping out of the coffin.

Not too long after that I got this tweet:

@Tots4Masses i was here in albuquerque. matter of fact i didnt watch the funeral. or would you rather just stick to the jokes? andy kaufman


This led to me having laugh and putting out that I was being "Stalked" by Andy Kaufman which led to this reply:

@Tots4Masses not stalked. just a friendly hello to people who mention me. giving them the opportunity to learn more about the "impossible"


... Now I was very much confused. I did find out he held a press conference announceing he had faked his death which I am embedding below.




Man, I have such a unique life! If you want to follow Andy, he is on twitter at http://twitter.com/Andy_Kaufman_.

Or if you prefer to follow me I am at http://twitter.com/Tots4Masses.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Late Night Wonderings

Long long ago when I was young I played bass guitar in several bands.  I always left the band for one reason or the other or they broke up due to catastrophic circumstances.  Obviously I never hit it big but I was honored to rub elbows with people I consider to be genius (like Knoxville, Tennessee's Terry Hill).

With that said, my music career pretty much ended when I moved to Dallas.  THE WIFE and I had three boys at that point and I worked for PHONECO and had a "Real Job" so music was not a big deal anymore.

Except sometimes I would get the itch...

Fast forward to November 2002 when I was baptized and we joined Vista Ridge United Methodist Church.  I weaseled my way into the Praze Band and all was good.  But then THE WIFE and I had issue with the church.  It's long and frustrating and I am sure I went off on it long ago so just search the archives...

Long story short, we left.  We had some friends that we started going to church with.  It was cool, different and not quite our thing, but cool.  I was offered a chance to sit in for a little bit with the band there.  I jumped on it.  But the problem is this poor little white boy couldn't pull the funk out for my band (sorry, the rest of the band was african american) and they were way too good for me.

We wondered around a little more and decided we wanted to hit the most biblical church we could.  THE WIFE was raised in the Church of Christ so we have been going there.  It's pretty cool, but no mechanical music so nothing for me to do.

And I'm starting to get the itch again.

It's weird, I'm 37 and I am craving getting in front of a crowd again.  The other thing is I keep wanting to play the old stuff, the loud fast stuff of the old days.  I keep dragging out my old copy of "Tailblazer" by "ALL" and listening to "Megadeth" again.  THE WIFE picked up a concert DVD of "The Cure" and while she got bored pretty quickly (Yeah, "The Cure" can wear on you after a while) I was transfixed.

The oldest boy is off to the Navy, the kids are getting under control and with the economy the way it is the job is beginning to seem like a "Job" again, not a career.  I need to do some searching and reach out to some buddies.  I need to PLAY again.

I'm like a junkie in need of a fix.  Anyway, anyone in Dallas want a fat, middle aged bass player to play fast heavy music (and probably get laughed at by the kids today)? Forget 'em.  As long as we have fun doing it, who cares?

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting...

Well, iwasn't going to blog because I was too busy picking my nose at lunch to actually write something, but I am waiting on a download, so i might as well.

A random thought occured to me last night as I was making the bed.  You know you have gotten old when you begin to ponder if making love to your significant other is worth the effort because you will have to was the sheets.

Unless you are one of Ms. Yvonne's Renters.

Hey, I mentioned her.  I might as well mention her TOTALLY AWESOME MULLET GIVEAWAY!!!!

So anyway, let me steal a picture from there... Here we go:




SOUR!!!!

Monday, July 06, 2009

Don't Touch My Drugs!

OK, I don't know who the moron is who believes the best way to prevent idiots from abusing perscription drugs is to eliminate prescription drugs but I would like to smack them.

I suffer from chronic back pain and I have to hit my Vicoden from time to time to get by.  I have asked docs about non-narcotic drugs and was told, nope, for the amount of pain I have to fight off, Vicoden is the best choice for me.

So to you idiots out there who don't understand that chewing up 7 or 10 Vicoden or Percocet at a time may cause liver damage and / or kill your idiot self, please do the world a favor and take up heroin like a REAL MAN.  Leave those of us who need the medicine for PAIN alone.

OK, I feel better now.  Speaking of pain, THE WIFE and I moved the girls to the room vacated by the oldest boy and Ben to the room vacated by the girls this weekend.  Painted Ben's room and everything.

Yes, you may tell us how awesome we are.  We know it.  Thank you.