Thursday, April 30, 2009

Potato Catastrophe

You know how in Home Economics you were taught to poke little holes in your potatoes with a fork before you bake them? Did you ever wonder what would happen if you didn't poke the holes or you didn't poke ENOUGH of the holes?
Boom!
Oh yeah, that's a mess!
 
So while dinner was cooking I heard a thud which sounded like Christopher hitting his wall with a baseball, once then again. I was about to yell and fuss at him when I heard a third whump and realized it came from the oven. I opened the door and...
UGH!
Cleanup. Actually much easier than I expected. We allowed the oven to cool, then vacumed the mess out with a shop vac.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Not Dead Yet

Sorry, haven't had much time to blog. We aren't dead (or sick) although Ft. Worth has closed ALL of their schools until May 8th.

Insane. Things are getting crazy.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Another One From Lucie

Lucie gives me so much Blog Fodder. Especially with questions like this:

"What if I could only pee out my ear?"

How do I even answer that?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Origins Of Lucie

Me: Lucie, I remember the day you were hatched.
Lucie: I wasn't hatched! I came from mommy's tummy.
Me: What, I don't remember that. You came from an egg.
Lucie: No, I came from mommy's tummy at the hospital.
Me: No, I remember you were hatched. We were making omlettes, and we had this big egg...
Lucie: NO! I WASN'T HATCHED! I'M NOT A BIRD!
Me: Lets see. Say this "Cheap cheap cheap."
Lucie: NO, I am NOT a BIRD! I am a little GIRL!
Me: But...
Lucie: I am a HUMAN! P-U-B a HuuuuuMAAAAN!
Me: OK, got it. Boy that was a good omlette.
THE WIFE: You are about to blog this aren't you?
Me: Oh yes.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shoot Me Please

Lucie is throwing a fit because the game she wants to play won't load.

If anyone has a gun and one bullet, please come shoot me.

That is all, thank you.

Warning! Geeky Cartoon Stuff Ahead

Get an IM from THE WIFE today:
(8:57:47 AM) THE WIFE Now the dolls are avatars. The fire benders are attacking the village of naked Ariels...
(8:58:11 AM) ME ROTFL
(8:58:29 AM) ME Please take a couple of pictures for me

Followed shortly by:
(9:18:49 AM) THE WIFE Now they are running around and playing a version of Hairspray. Dora just told Ariel that she is about to be "outdanced Princess!!" And then they start singing that you can't stop the music song....
(9:18:52 AM) THE WIFE LOL
(9:19:02 AM) THE WIFE Gonna be an adventure type day...
(9:19:03 AM) ME heheheh
(9:19:06 AM) ME Oh yeah

I love being a dad some days.

Ahhhh Paperwork

OK, so I keep the name of where I work anonymous (Hard to believe PHONECO Inc. isn't a real place) but the things I write about are pretty much true. One of the things I keep noticing is the more efficient we are asked to become, the more we are mired in paperwork.

For example:

Now, I am a lab rat and we have reports we have to fill out reports so everyone knows what is going on. Which is all well and good but we are now filling out reports for our supervisor to give to our manager to give to our director to give to our GM to give to someone NOT IN OUR CHAIN OF COMMAND to read to SOMEONE ELSE NOT IN OUR CHAIN OF COMMAND.

Here is a novel idea...

SELL SOMETHING YOU BUNCH OF SCUZZWADS!!!!

Look, I understand planning and moving ahead, but I call bull crap on all the "We can't sell X because it won't do Y. If we had an app to do Y, then X would fly off the shelves.

I drive past downtown Dallas and I see new building being built. Buildings without our phone systems and I wonder why?

I think back to working in Knoxville, Tennessee and how we ran an office of around 12 technicians, but we can only keep three of them busy in Dallas, Texas.

Something is rotten in Denmark and I wish rather than burying people in more paperwork, we would address the REAL PROBLEM and get rid of people who don't sell.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Open Letter To Janeane Garafalo

Dear Ms. Gerafalo,

I understand it is your view that conservatives are all racist (including me). You seem to think this is the only reason why I might speak out concerning a president I do not feel is doing a good job.

I charge YOU are the racist as YOU are too afraid of people finding out you secretly hate all people of any ethnicity other than white. If you were truly inclusive you could judge the president on his merits rather than the shade of his skin.

Shame on you.

Sincerely,
Houston

P.S.
I will also make sure to NEVER spend any money on anything you are involved with again. You see, you have freedom of speech (as do I) and I have freedom to spend my money on what I choose to. I choose not to waste it on a racist hatemonger such as yourself.

College Humor

OK, potty language warning, but entertaining. Be sure to watch to the end.


Guess which instrument I chose to play.

LOL KIDZ

OK, so I have decided to have a bit of fun at work. Along with my morning cartoons, from time to taime I will take my LOL magnets and make Christopher say things.

This week's witty saying is:

Maybe I should make a new tag?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

So Very Wrong

Van pointed out what a difference music makes. This is a GREAT example!



Power Child!


As the kids spent the late afternoon tramping on the trampoline (what else would you do on a TRAMP-o-line?) I hear the following exhange:

Ben: "OW, You shocked me! What do you say?"
Sadie: "Thank you."

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Random Children Shots

They are EVERYWHERE! Someone save me!

Chris shows off his SKILLZ!
Lucie builds a Molotov cocktail

Wolverines!

Texas Rangers

OK, I sincerely promise to post some tidbits (Tots Of Wisdom) at some point.

Right now I am amazed at the Texas stRangers. After a 3-0 start they are now 3-5.

Let's just say their season is off to a start like a Korean missle.

At least they aren't the Houston disAstros. I heard the disAstros played a scrimmage game amongst themselves and lost.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Latest Obama Appointment Marred By Controversy

Washington DC. - In a seemingly never ending string of bad appointments, President barack Obama's latest appointment of "Bo" as White House pet (or POTWH (Pet Of The White House)) has come with some contriversy.

Apparently "Bo," as he is now known, recently completed a 12 week program for litter box crunchy treat addiction and has been known to spend hours aimlessly licking his butt while the world falls apart.

"Bo, seems really nice," said one Collie who asked not to be identified, "but once you get past the 'Hey how you doing?' butt-sniffing stage, something is wrong."

TTFTM News will remain on this story as long as we can drag a giggle or two out of it. This story will also dies out if I get stuck doing actual work or THE WIFE tells me it is too dumb to deal with.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Depressed As Crap

The word Crap winds up a lot in my posts. Anyway, I am depressed and feel like I can't do anything too well lately and I am just waiting for the world to end.

THE WIFE says we should become pirates with some of my blog buddies. I am seriously considering it.

Anyway, I liked this picture, but I wont link to the site because then my oldest son who doesn't have enough sense to not follow links on my site when he and his buddies surf my blog in HTML class when they are supposed to be working.

The pic with apologies to Laurence.


 

Thursday, April 09, 2009

What Happened To My Banner?

Crap! Now I have to go and make a new banner as Imageshack ATE MINE!

Poop!

Oh well, I guess I will stay with some kind of Darth Tater thing unless someone else has a suggestion. Throw one in the comments or email em and I will try out the ideas.

Who knows it might be fun for both my regular readers.

Time for FAIL!

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures
Genius!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Fortunately, This Stuff Can Write Itself!

IM from THE WIFE!


THE WIFE: Just FYI the girls also made a "Disney World" for their little dolls. Thanks to their princess dolls complete with lines to stand in and meet the princesses. They had the teacups with Diago and Dora in them. It was so cute.

I guess I need to plan another trip to Disney?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?

OK, so I am having a little trouble absorbing my surroundings at this point and I am unsure if it is my allergies or my stress level.

Well, while I remain the main point of contact for MAJOR PROJECT (for some reason) I now have been tasked with "Mission Impossible (pronounced Im-Poh-see-bleh)." Basically I am the only tester on APPLICATION X, which is fine, but management has been YELLING and SCREAMING they need APPLICATION X NOW!

Great.

So I finally sit down with the PM today and leveled with him. I told him I needed guidelines for release times, actual dates instead of NOW, YESTERDAY, ASAP.

So I now have guidelines and goals to work toward.

Tank you Ray.

Otherwise, on the home front, Ben is sick, my back still hurts, Andrew is 18 kids still cute, yadda yadda.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Microsoft Gets It

I found this link where Microsoft blasts traditional telephony systems (PBX) and desktop phones. Working for PHONECO, I have to admit, I agree with the Microsoft vision.

One of my HUGE complaints with Telecommunications right now is even with VOIP implementation, people are using it EXACTLY THE SAME as TDM communications. No one is utilizing the benefits of IP. The ONLY cost savings they are getting is the ability to unplug the phone and move it to another location without having to call a tech (like moving your laptop to another network jack and it working).

This is savings?

For this at a MINIMUM you have to provide QOS (Quality of Service) to your network in order to prioritize your voice traffic to ensure you have reasonable quality speech. I have gotten the argument all the time from IT guys about how they have a TON of bandwidth, so they don't need to worry. Fine Dude, just remember your network is only as fast as it's slowest piece of equipment. It only takes one bottleneck to reveal a problem. It is also preferable to provide POE (Power Over Ethernet). POE allows you to use an IP Telephone without having to plug in an AC adapter in addition to the network connection. This also costs money.

Lots of companies get by on name recognition (CallManager), but have very limited features and aren't any easier to implement than traditional PBXs. PHONECO an many others have implemented a Hybrid (Mix of TDM (standard telephones) and IP) approach. I think this is a very stable approach, but most manufacturers looking at the American market are still loking at everything from an old phone man prospective. They approach everything as how it would be implemented from a traditional telephony standpoint. The IP is thrown in to be "With It," and "Cutting Edge."

What good is IP when it is just another transport for everything you are already doing the same?

Most companies already have phone lines in place and the saving from MAC (Moves Adds and Changes) orders are minimal in the long run. This is even more pronounced if the need for the IP Network to be upgraded is costly.

What is the REAL future?

While no one knows for sure, what do you use when you need to quickly get in touch with someone? I use an Instant Messenger such as YAHOO, MSN, Google Talk, Skype or AOL. That is where I see everything going. Skype has the lead in what I view as the final solution for Telecom as it has a good voice, IM and video interface, but a limited footprint in the market.

Microsoft has teh footprint, but hasn't quite worked it out yet. Office Communicator is getting there. I know from my personal experience, one interface (a client, not a browser PLEASE!!!) which handles email, chat (IM), voice and video (maybe a calender function) would be FABULOUS!

That is why I see the future being bundled in with a future version of Outlook, with the IM riding on MSN's backbone for IM and video. The local office communicator can be used for traditional interface to TELCO through whatever media gateway.

Its not that far off. I was recruited by Microsoft a while back, but they wanted me for tech support on touch screen PCs. If they had recruited me for Office Communicator, I would be a minion of Bill right now.

May wind up being one anyway.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Pitiful Update

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ANDREW!!!! I am very proud of you (for not destroying my house so far).

OK, back to the crap...

Work is horrendous right now. I am testing a product which has already been released before I said it works... (I thought that was my job?) Apparently I am the appendix in the product release body of life.

So to prevent a bout of gripe-itis, I will serenade you with putting my daughters to bed.

9:00 PM
Place loving children in beds. Start "Barbie Mariposa" for them. Kiss them goodnight.

9:06 PM
Sadie cries out for me. She needs a "Bednight Snack." I explain the cookie she had was a "Bednight Snack" and it was time to go to bed.

9:09 PM
Both girls cry out for me. They are afraid of "Monsters" despite me explaining that our buddy, Mr. Tony Genova would beat up any monster that tried to get to them.

I turn the light up to scare away the scaries.

9:14 PM
Sadie complains she needs some water to drink. Lucie decides she needs a glas of water also.

9:20 PM
Sadies complains about the quality of her water.

9:22 PM
Sadie states her bed is wet from the water.

9:24 PM
Lucie brings he clothes into my room because she doesn't need to sleep in them

9:24 PM and 30 seconds
Sadie asks to have her shirt taken off so she can sleep.

9:42 PM
Sadie charges in and states she needs something "Flat" for her room. (Don't ask me, I couldn't make this crap up.)

9:53 PM
The flat thing (Children's Bible) was insufficient for Sadie's safety, therefore she asked to move into my room and sleep in my bed. I give up, "Climb on in I say."

"Tanks, Dad," she says and proceeds to read from the Bible to me as I type. She then says, "Who cares?" rolls over and goes to sleep.

9:58 PM
Lucie asks to sleep in our room as she is scared by being alone. I give up and say "Come on and climb into bed." Lucie is pleased and states as soon as "Barbie Mariposa," goes off she will come back.

10:03 PM
Lucie comes back into the room, tries to climb into bed to sleep, then complains there is "Nowhere for her to sleep." THE WIFE and Sadie are both out cold. I do what any father would do (assuming he has lost his mind or the will to fight), I give her my spot on the bed and move to the floor. I then surf the internet in the hopes she will go to sleep, I can take her back to her bed and then I can finally get some sleep.


At least I didn't have to resort to spitting.