Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dear Body

Dear Body,

Why is it I ate a bag of popcorn and had to run to the potty like a four year old who busted into Grandma's stash of emergency ExLax? POPCORN!!!

Look, I know I wasn't good to you when I was younger, I am somewhat better now, at least I don't smoke and try to keep you up all night at the clubs like I did when I was in bamds. I don't keep a bass slung around your neck all night. Just ask the back, he'll tell you.

Look, I understand the thing with Mexican food, or Cheeseburgers from a greasy spoon, but to have my colon explode over popcorn is unacceptable.

Just ask my neighbors in the lab. It isn't pretty.

Could we work out an understanding? What went wrong? Don't you love me anymore?

Sincerely,
Houston

1 comment:

Justin said...

Wow, Houston... graphic enough?