Monday, March 16, 2009

I HATE YOU CANCER!!!!

Well, last February 16th THE WIFE and I lost a good friend named Cali to cancer, this Marc 13th we lost another. Our friend Patricia passed away last Friday afternoon.

Today was her funeral.

I am just so discouraged. I try to think of the good times and hold on to them. With Cali we had a large group from church go up (proabably 18 people or so) and sing to her in her ICU room. Imagine big old fat me carrying my upright bass down the hall of a hospital,

We took drawings by the kids, my brother-in-law's CD, my picture of "Buckethead" to hang on the ICU walls and THE WIFE played recordings of the girls singing to Patricia. It just sucks to tell a friend how much you love her and not be able to hold her. To see her living on machines. To not be able to make it all OK.

I am very grateful that THE WIFE could get reactions from Patricia even to the last day we saw her. She would hold her hand and talk to her and even as out of it as Patrcia was, sometimes she would move her head around and squeeze THE WIFE's fingers.

I haven't played my bass very much lately. Things are just kind of... I don't know. I don't know what to say here either.

I feel empty.

I miss you Patrcia. I look forward to seeing you and Cali on the other side. I love you both. I miss you two so much.

1 comment:

Miss Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. My dad has leukemia and although he's doing really well now, it's hard to think of losing him too soon to this awful disease.

Hang in there.