Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Disturbing Our Children After Our Demise

OK, so THE WIFE has a plan to be in our children's memory long after she is gone.

When she passes she has left instructions for me to have her ashes crushed into a diamond which we will then set into a ring. The ring will be given to our oldest son. We figure the conversation with his future bride will go like this:

Andrew: Will you marry me? (Holding out THE RING)

Future Wife: Oh yes Andrew!

Andrew: Here take this ring, it was my mother.

Future Wife: Oh how sweet! This was your mother's ring you say? How sweet!

Andrew: Uhhhhh. No, actually I said it WAS my mother.

Future Wife: EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Wal Mart = Evil

They are just trying to tease us with this item. Do you see anything wrong here?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Darwin Was Wrong

So now that I am a lab rat, I do still occasionally get tech support emails. Sometimes it is from a tech trying to get me to bite on his fishing for me to jump into the fight and fix something.

Usually its not.

Usually it is the crack smoking dispatch department. "Don't be so tough on them," you say? Keep in mind I no longer work tech support, the guys I used to work tech support with were all disbanded and moved around the companies.

Yet Dispatch keeps emailing a dead email link. One where everyone's duties have now changed. Best of all is the last email stated the technician expected a "Callback within 30 minutes."

Yeah right. I hope she gets about 14 more calls from him waiting on someone to call him, then gets told she is sending a tech to nowhere land as she is escorted out of the building for being STUPID.

Kind of get the idea I hold them in low regard?

I Am Officially Ticked Off

I am saying this in my official status. Application X SUCKS.

I had to move the IP Address scheme to test Application Y. I think try to change the IP scheme back so I can try stuff on Application X and Application X WILL NOT WORK AGAIN!!!

This wouldn't bother me, but I keep getting asked questions on Application X (which we aren't even testing anymore as it was sent back to development) but I keep getting asked questions and people want to see it and

IT

DOESN'T

WORK

!!!!

In a side note, I just got filled in on all the politics I have to look forward to when I get moved back to Tech Support. I probably haven't mentioned I am almost certainly destined to get moved back.

Sigh... So long my sweet stress-free life.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Business Success

Two pet peeves I have.

1. Official business mailings, documents and emails with basic grammatical and spelling errors.

I am a high school graduate, I could not cut it in college but I can usually spell relatively well and in the cases I can't I leverage the tools modern technology has given us. I am astounded at the number of business communications I get which lack basic grammar and spelling which are written by COLLEGE GRADUATES.

2. Electronic communications using non universal distribution media.

If a company is going to send out mass mailings with "Important information on how to do XYZ," or "New sales incentives." It is a good idea to make sure the attached information can be read. Not everyone is using Office 2007 (I know it's a shock) so maybe you should use some converter to change it to a PDF or something easily read universally. It is easy to do a Google search for free PDF converters and find several.

OK, I feel better now.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Putting Our (Best???) Foot Forward

So I see an email floating around yesterday where someone is trying to explain to a tech he needs to use a Fully Qualified Domain Name for SIP registration. For those of you who aren't geeky, this means you use a name like "www.cnn.com" instead of an IP Address "157.166.255.19."

Nice. Simple. Not difficult to set up DNS to register to the PBX.

The tech then fires back an email that the customer will not be buying a DOMAIN CONTROLLER for this to work.

????

You don't need a Domain Controller I think. Just configure a DNS server. Any server will do, just add that functionality to it, make it the primary DNS server for the VLAN and set up an A Record and have everything else refer to the real DNS server you are using.

Obviously the tech thinks he needs to set up a Windows Domain to make this work.

Sigh... I go back to testing my widgets. Not my battle to fight.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Nice Weekend

This weekend Ben got to go to an outing to DFW airport to have tour of the Air Traffic Control Tower. A friend of his from Karate has a parent who works there and arranged for a group of special needs kids to get to visit the airport, speak with some of the controllers and see the tower in action.

It was amazing to see how the third busiest airport in the country routes aircraft in and out of it's 7 active (at any time) runways. I also did not realize DFW airport takes up roughly the same amount of land mass as Manhattan island in New York. We got to visit the West tower (DFW has three active towers to control traffic) and from there we could watch the taxiways, runways and watch the incoming and outgoing aircraft. The kids were treated to getting to watch a 747 take off and minutes later seeing another one land.

My hats off to the men and women who run that place and watch over our safety as wel travel. Thanks to all of you for letting our kids get a peek behind the scenes.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Whyfore does a "Man" having a baby make the news?

Here is a flash just in from Tots For The Masses.

He's. A. Chick.

That's right folks, the woman plumbing is still in place. (S)He might have had something added to the old thingamajiggie, and some stuff removed, but bottom line is this is a WOMAN with a MAN's name.

I don't care how you feel about this, or if you think it is sick, revolutionary, an abomination or a revelation. A WOMAN having a baby is no big deal. The fact she is pretending to be a man is the only thing which is making this be newsworthy.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Fixing The Economy

Here is what Obama needs to fix the economy.
Everything can be fixed with a plunger.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Thank A Veteran

A sincere thank you to all veterans past and present. Thank you for keeping my family safe.

A special thank you to David my brother-in-law serving overseas in the Army right now.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Confusion For Some

Sorry, very poor cartoon on my whiteboard, but hey it's Monday. Apparently some guys around the lab didn't get the joke.


Does everyone else get the joke, or is it just me?

Thank You

I was just browsing around the web and realized I have made more of an impact than I thought. Sure I have 1.2 million blogs ranked ahead of me, but hey, I didn't even realize I had gotten tagged by Nikki and I didn't even know it.

Sorry Nikki.

Anyway, much love to all of you who have been sticking with me through the humor vacume over the last little bit. I promise to start taking lunches and sharing random stupid crap I do to my friends and co-workers.

Jerry, that means you. You are NOT safe.

MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Friday, November 07, 2008

Announcement

Folks, this is aimed at the people who travel abroad and are now stating they don't have to be ashamed to be recognized as an American when they travel abroad now that Obama has been elected.

I don't care where you are on the political spectrum, what your rational was for being ashamed or whatever. Do use all a favor and STAY ABROAD.

America is a great country. If you are ashamed of being an American, I am ashamed to have you as a fellow American.

No one agrees with all of our policies. NO ONE. But I am an American and will be as long as it is a free society.

People need to learn when you hug a Frenchman, his stink rubs off on you.

OOOOOOGAH!!!!

At my former employer PHONECO (I will try to come up with some new name to call where I work now since technically it is a different company) since no one EVER turned lose of cash and they NEVER seemed to make their numbers mediocrity was rewarded with promotion. So in essence the company winds up with 300 million VPs, GMs, Directors and Supervisors over about 12 workers.

Which leads to the joke from the dinner table last night...

What is the difference between a film school movie and PHONECO?

A film school movie only has ONE director!

Badum CHI!

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all wekk, be sure to tip your waitress.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I Am So Disappointed

OK, folks. I have been a fan of the SciFi series Ghosthunters ever since it came on the air. It is with a heavy heart I must make the following announcement.

I think the Halloween show was a load of crap.

This hurts, but the whole Jacket tug thing, is faked. It is apparent Grant is manipulating the hood of his jacket with some kind of string, wire, garden weasel, lawn mower or whatever.

I give you the following clip.



Notice Grant's right hand NEVER comes away from his side the three times his hood is tugged on. If you look closely you will also see it is positioned right at the bottom of his jacket.

I am really REALLY upset about this.

Also, as much as I would like to believe, I just happen to have a voice changer which can perfectly replicate the EVP in the following clip.



Dang it guys. I loved the show so much. Now I will NEVER be able to watch it believe anything. These are guys (and girls) I had come to really think I knew.

I don't think they are bad people, but I think they got pressured to make stuff "Happen."

Oh well, that's TV for you.

Justin Is A Genius

Funny pic by my buddy Justin. Got to laugh.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures


Thanks Justin.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Congratulations

I want to offer my sincere congratulations to the Democratic party. I hope you all can turn the economy around the way you all really believe you can.

Please keep our country safe and PLEASE remember that just because we make people follow rules to get into this country, it DOES NOT make us racist.

For our children's sake, do the right thing.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Halloween

Well this Halloween we did the house up with a graveyard, some flashing lights, noises and various other things. Chris wasn't feeling so good so he and I were handing out candy and watching Ghost Hunters live. I was really impressed with one clip where they caught a voice saying "You aren't supposed to be here." The guys posted it on one of their myspace pages. Since they were cool enough to YouTube it, I wanted to put it on here so you all could see it.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Guitar Hero



After watching the above commercial my son Chris said "So all those guys sit around playing Guitar Hero together?" I told him, "The commercial was based off of an old Tom Cruise movie."

His response?

"Tom Cruise made a movie about playing Guitar Hero?"