Wednesday, April 30, 2008

UPDATE On Road Rage!

Laurence Simon my more talented friend suggested some LOL captions for Sato. Here are his sugegstions:

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

OF course I tried, but mine falls far short of the glory of Lair.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures


Road Rage!

OK, so the girls pass the time by one of them hopping in their car and the other one pushing the driver at high speed into the front door. I call this playing "Crash Test Dummy."

The girls have moved on to other forms of entertainment.

Crash Test Kitteh!

BTW. Ben has named the kitten Sato after a buddy of mine who has gone back to Japan. So please give him (the kitten) a warm welcome. The other cats (Nancy and Boo) have avoided him like the plaugue plague.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tell The Truth

WARNING: Technical mumbo jumbo ahead.

I have a buddy who has been working a problem for a while now where a tech has a conference bridge keeps dropping calls because we are not responding to Telco that the call is answered. We have been very confused and couldn't figure out what was wrong.

until today.

Today another guy posts and explains, it's not a conference unit issue because they are routing the call to what is called a "Dead Level Announcement." A "Dead Level Announcement" is supposed to play when you dial a number not in use. When you dial from your home it says something along the lines of "You have reached a number that is no longer in service."

The tech was trying to CHEAT his way to connect to the conference gear using the announcement path as a connection media. I would say it was a smart idea and good try, but it didn't work. Specifically because when you ring a "Dead Level Announcement" YOU ARE NOT ANSWERED BY ANYTHING as far as the PBX is concerned. So we never told Telco the call was answered, so Telco dropped the call.

If he had told us that when he was asked the question "How are you routing this call, what is different between this one and one that does work?"

Despite the tech's furious babbling, it doesn't work and AIN'T GONNA WORK.

Monday, April 28, 2008

New Kitteh

OK, so as THE WIFE reports, we (we meaning Ben) have a new kitten (or Kitteh for LOLers).

I now present...

Babeh Kitteh

Buttons the Kitteh!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Attack Of The Wart

So the other night I was trying to eliminate Christopher's wart from his knee (I think I will name it Eugene since I believe it to be an absorbed twin as in "The Dark Half") while Lucie watched on in disturbed silence.

"Do you want a wart Lucie?" Christopher asked?

"No, I don't want a wart?" the little princess replied looking up with big blue eyes. She began to make such a fuss about how adamantly she DID NOT want a wart that Christopher wound up getting off the bed and into the floor so she would relax about being infected.

"Well then you better stay away from Dad or else you'll get his RINGWORM!!!"

My little girl kept eying me for the rest of the evening, cautiously keeping her distance.

Thanks Chris.

Random Pictures From Christopher

This is the kind of stuff I get sent to me from my kid throughout the day.

I have NO IDEA why he enjoys "Potty Humor."



I just saw this on the Ranger's website.

I find it very hard to believe that Daniels and Ryan are disappointed or surprised that the Rangers are doing as poorly as they are at the beginning of this season. They have lost all the bright spots on the team because they were unwilling to pay out the money or unable to convey a feeling they were REALLY turning the team around in the next year or two. Gagne, Texiera, Matthews, Soriano, Pudge, and the list goes on of people who are having results with other teams. The one bright spot is A-Rod has struggled with the hated Yankees, but he was EXTREMELY overpaid to begin with as ONE PLAYER can't carry a whole team.

Basically the Rangers are a Major League farm team. The team standout Michael Young would be considered "Pretty Good" anywhere else. He is a star here because the rest of the team SUCKS. I am going to barf if I have to hear about what a great job Hank Blalock is doing (Christopher loves to watch him play for some reason), the dude is a strikeout machine.

I am about to take the option I took with the Cowboys when they weren't serious about winning and pull for WHATEVER team plays against them (Yankees included).

Tom Hicks, get out of the way and let your team get fixed.

Maybe My Daughter Is A Trump

So the other night I am trying to get Lucie into bed and failing miserably.


"No Daddy, I want to watch cartoons!"

"One, Two..." (This is a last chance thing for her, we both hope I don't get to three.)

"You are a bad Daddy! I don't like you anymore! YOU'RE FIRED DADDY!"


Anyone looking to hire a slightly used daddy?


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Soapbox Time

(Gets soapbox, sits it on the ground and stands upon it.)

OK, I am sick and STINKIN' TIRED of shoveling paperwork for nimrods. Apparently all you have to do in the world if you are too dumb to be successful is to create enough paperwork to hide how inept you are. If you have enough paperwork, no one can prove you don't know anything, because nothing gets done except paperwork. If you make the rules for the paperwork, no one can say you are inept.

I am so over it. All I want to do is FIX STUFF! Who cares about the paperwork.

Furthermore, apparently if you make the rules about the paperwork, you don't have to follow the rules either.

(Gets down off the soapbox and walks off.)

Old MacDonald "Sadie Style"


Me =
"Old MacDonald had a farm,
eee, eye, eee, eye, oh.

On this farm they had a...?"

Sadie =

Me =
"Eee, eye, eee, eye, oh.
With a quack quack here,
and a quack quack there.
Here a quack, there a quack,
everywhere a quack quack.

Old MacDonald had a farm,
eee, eye, eee, eye oh."

Repeat until sanity is completely defeated... Apparently Sadie digs ducks, so that is ALL SHE EVER PICKS!!!!

The End?

Tech calls in for support and the call goes something like this.

Me - Tech support can I help you?

Tech - Yeah, I'm installing a Spektralink wireless system on my PHONECO PBX.

Me - OK.

Tech - How do I do it?

Me - What do you mean?

Tech - How do I install this Spektralink wireless on my PHONECO PBX?

Me - I don't know. i don't work on Spektralink and I am not familiar with what they need. Did they give you any information about how they need the PHONECO PBX set up?

Tech - No. I just know they need digital ports.

Me- That's odd. Are you sure they don't need analog ports.

Tech - Not really. Do I need to set up a certain key pattern on those digital ports.

Me - I don't know. Like I said I work on the PHONECO PBX, not Spektralink. I need more information so I can help you.

Tech - Me too. I just have to put this thing in. So do you have any information?

Me - (Sound of gun cocking and a single shot, followed by the thud of a body hitting the floor).

Tech - Hey tech support, do you maybe have a "Cheat Sheet?" Hello? Hello?

Christopher Abuse

Last night Andrew and Christopher were in our room while I attempted to destroy Christopher's wart with the freeze stuff. Andrew took this opportunity to start an insult war with me, firing off a fat joke in my direction.

"So I'm fat now am I?"

We fired a few zingers back and forth with the best one he fired back being "It's called Slim Fast... try it." I referred to him as "String Bean" and which point Christopher came unglued laughing and Calling Andrew "String Bean."

"Watch out," I warned. "He will give you a wedgie and pull your underwear over the top of that massive head of yours.

Seconds later Christopher was running down the hall to him room while Andrew stalked after him like Jason from "Friday the 13th."


Apparantly Andrew is quite mean with his wedgie giving.

Foot Is Better Thank You

My foot is all better now (thanks to those of you who care). Those of you who didn't care....

PTTTHHHHHPPPPPTTTT!!!!!! <--- Raspberrry

My good friend Mister Vicoden got me through it. He will be there for me next time.

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Stupidity Of Others

So we are not fighting the school anymore (thank you God) but we requested they send his records within five (5) business days. They arrived today, via regular mail.

Don't get me wrong. Faith in humanity is a great thing, but if you had a REALLY P-O'd set of parents who had already used the word "Attorney" (I will be sure to use the phrase "Under advice of counsel" the next time I speak with them) you would THINK they would want to avoid screwing up and giving said P-O'd parents the ability to say "I never got it" and sending the stuff via registered mail.

But. Oh well. I shall have my revenge in a good and LEGAL fashion.

Until then, I submit a kitty to keep my spirits up!

click here for cats


OK, so even though I am Baseball Purgatory having the Rangers in town to root for, I do occasionally get to see some good baseball when my kid Chris plays.

He is in 11/12 fast pitch baseball here in Loserville playing for a team called "The Red Legs." Saturday they pulled to 4-1 and Chris got on base three times batting in the lead off spot. He's a very patient hitter, so he got two walks, then this...


He's fine, popped him in the thigh (and got him to base again).

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I Could Use Some Baseball

Well, my son's baseball team advanced to 4-1 in their division and are a half game back from the lead.

I need to post his schedule and results as I am enjoying watching his team play a LOT more than watching the Rangers lose.

Go Red Legs!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Too Dumb Not To Share

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

IT Idiocy

Well, I finally got logged into the network this morning after fighting with a rouge DHCP server on our network. When you go to log into a LAN at a major corporation and pull an IP address which starts with 192.168.0.X and a name of "MSHOME.NET" you are in trouble.

I guess the LAN Nazis finally tracked the idiot down as I finally got a normal IP address.


Thursday, April 17, 2008


Tuesday I got up from my desk to get some water and had a sharp pain in my foot. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening hobbling around like Quasimodo.

Wednesday I spent all day and evening hobbling around once again. Wednesday night I laid on the couch with my foot up popping Aleve all night.

I do believe I have broken the dang thing. Sounds ridiculous, but I got a good look at myself earlier in the week over at THE WIFE's blog and I was not too happy with my physique.

I look like a gob of lard squashed into blue jeans. I never imagined I would have the little legs / HUGE UPPER BODY syndrome, but I do. I figure the over stressed feet finally exploded.

It's so depressing I think I will drag myself into the kitchen and eat some ice cream...


help me... please...

Lunch Returns!

Inspiration after a night of storms last week.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Finally An Ad I Can Relate To

Free Time

More free time to look at the web now that I don't have to call Ben's teacher (IT) every five minutes.

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics


Rangers Losing (Suprise)

OK, so the Rangers continue losing.... Kevin Millwood looks like he is pitching for the "Special Olympics" in this picture.

I think I will go watch "Major League" and try to feel better.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

What is Jason Botts Thinking?

What is Texas Rangers Strikeout Threat, Jason Botts thinking as the hall hurtles past him?

A. Please God, just let me hit one!
B. MLB2K7 made it look so easy.
C. That catcher is wearing an enticing cologne...
D. Thank God I play for the Rangers. Maybe no one will notice.

Lunch Bag Catch Up

Trying to catch up on Lunch Bags... I like these pretty well.


Well things came to head yesterday with IT. I got a call from my 11 year old telling me IT had gotten into Ben's face and was yelling at him because Ben wouldn't do what IT said. He had run up to the van with THE WIFE inside and told her she needed to get over there.

THE WIFE navigated the sea of stupidity which is a school zone during kid pickup and got over during the yelling match between IT and Ben. IT was trying to keep Ben from leaving (which is a good thing because IT had him so upset he probably would have walked right out into traffic). THE WIFE asked what was going on and tried to get Ben to answer her with IT chiming in left and right. Finally THE WIFE had enough and told IT that IT needed to get out of people's faces.

IT didn't like that.

IT then got into the face of THE WIFE and yelled at her then spun to walk away. THE WIFE grabbed at her, but fortunately for IT, she wasn't able to get a good hold of her.

So Ben will be home schooled now. We have been trying to decide whether to do it or not, but this is the final straw. I spoke with the principal yesterday who assured me he was having a staff meeting and would call me with some plan of action for what to do with Ben.

Nope, WAY too little, WAAAAAAYYYYY too late.

I'll talk with him this afternoon, but THE WIFE will be sending out the letter notifying them we will be homeschooling Ben later today. Furthermore, I fully intend to follow up with the district as Ben has been undergoing nothing short of torture from this IT which refuses to acknowledge he has a disability. I realize not everything is a result of his disability, but we can't find out what is because IT treated everything as a behavior problem.

I look from my sons to be much happier. Ben because he doesn't have to deal with IT again and Chris because he doesn't have to watch his brother get bullied anymore.

My biggest regret is I gave the system a chance and made my son go through so much crap instead of being a raging jerk and demanding the world. It is my first go at being an advocate though.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Return To Lunch Bags

OK, so I am trying to get back in the saddle...

Things are still a madhouse at work... and at home...


Friday, April 11, 2008


Sorry for the lack of posts, There are only five of us total in my department today, and I am finding myself manning the phones alone a lot of the time today...

I promise to catch up next week so no one gets too worked up.

I have lunch bag pics to post also.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Changing My Identity

In order to protect myself since I sent so much "Personal" information out over the web, I feel it is necessary to change my identity to protect myself.

Meet the new me. You may call me...

Get your own Mclovin ID


Thanks Jerry! You rock!

Monday, April 07, 2008


I am so angry right now that I can't even begin to put it into words.

Needless to say Ben's teacher has finally pushed me over the edge. Today my wife was accused of "Rewarding" Ben for bad behavior.

Obviously this woman refuses to accept the diagnosis of Autism and feels she can get him to do what she wants him to do through sheer willpower alone.

I am not going to put anything on here which may be construed as a threat because I plan no physical, or emotional revenge. I do fully intend to stop the emotional torture she is putting my son through though.

ARD meeting Wens. I have left her a voicemail that she is NOT to contact us before then. I also have left the principal a very angry (probably nonsensical) voicemail stating the same thing and requesting he join the ARD.

I Think I Am Getting A Cold

OK, so I am fighting off a cold. I thought it was sinuses, but I am feeling crappy this morning.

Also, I moved THE WIFE up to the top of my blogroll because she thinks I love Jenny more than I love her.

I am STALKING Jenny... Deranged infatuation DOES NOT equal love.

You are my one and only. I love you, Wonder Woman.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Waiting And Wondering

Today was a slow rainy morning at work. I am waiting for some sense of change as things here in the boiler room of PHONE CO. INC are kind of slow. We keep getting word of new sales and ideas, but it never seems to wind it's way down here.

We have word of a change of direction next week from the BIG BOSS but, I would like a little bit of change on the more local level. We'll see.

Until then I twiddle my thumbs, look at my insurance card and remind myself the paychecks are continuing to deposit in my account for now.

So, I wait...

Lunchbag Artwork

OK, here are the masterpieces for today. I actually had some inspiration this morning.


So a tech calls in (code name Veruca Salt) and states he HAS to have his order corrected as he got the wrong software. We politely tell him sorry, but since it was ordered incorrectly he has to go to Customer Service and correct the original order.

This is the point where the customer usually yells, demands to speak to a supervisor, calls the president of our company etc... Suprisingly, this didn't happen.

The story had a happy ending. Thank you Mr. Salt.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Idea For My Tramp Stamp

So I am trying to figure out what to do for my Tattoo in celebration of Jenny's new blog. being a long distance blog stalker is hard work, so i think I will have to open up the voting on this as I am stumped.

Should I get this...

Or this...

What do you all think? Click below to vote.

Which represents an infatuation with Jenny's blogging the best?
The sweet, angelic photo
The angry beaver free polls
I got this picture from Dark Roasted Blend... All I know is, I don't want to try the second salad on that menu.

Lunchbag Art - Two For One Deal

Sorry, I got caught up in a blogstorm yesterday waiting on a tech to call back (he never did) so I am giving you yesterday's and today's lunchbag art.

First up, yesterday...

And now, today...

You have to be a fan of Ghosthunters to get Christopher's.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


OK, so Laurence made a remark about having to "climb up the outside of the building with suction cups and a glass cutter again" which inspired me to create my own LOLLAIR image.

Apologies to I Can Has Cheez Burger.

It would also make a very annoying desktop!

Andrew Was Right (For Once)

This post goes up just because it's Andrew's birthday, otherwise I would tell him he was wrong (like always) and fix it quietly in the background.

Earlier this week I used the word THINGIE which Andrew insists is spelled


as opposed to my spelling


He had to prove me wrong... So he goes and proves me wrong. But I get partial credit.

You're grounded!

Why I Drink

Tech - Fix my server! Fix my server! Fix my server!

Me - OK, I have to have access to it.

Tech - NO! The customer won't allow it! What you told me to do didn't work!

Me - I can't fix it without access.

Tech - Fix my server! Fix my server! Fix my server!

(Insert sound of cocking gun here!)

Ball Player, Or Toy Maker?

I saw this disturbing stat online today while trying to figure out why the Rangers are bellyaching about not having enough money to increase their payroll...

Apparently Milton Bradley has hurt his knee and was stuck with DH duties for the first two games. Granted he got two at bats, but do you REALLY want a guy with a .000 average doing ANY designated hitting?

But I digress. Looks like the Rangers have a salary of $68,818,675 as found here which ranks them 21st out of 30 teams. Compare that with the Yankees who are spending $195,229,045.


It also appears Kevin Millwood leads the salary range with a 9.8 Million dollar followed by Vicente Padilla who makes a cool 9 million. What bothers me is Ian Kinsler who is a pretty good second baseman gets $390,708. Only nine guys make over a million.

(Sigh) Yep Tom Hicks... Obviously you are REALLY HURTING... REAL BAD!


OK, so I am joining in the fight against Walter and Johnson who Plagarized Pilgrim over at Say Anything Blog.

Apparently these two dimwits took a post from pilgrim and read it verbatim over the air. This wouldn't have been too big a deal except when it was pointed out to them that they had "Borrowed" the piece, they responded with profanities and insults. You can read the back story here and here (PROFANITY WARNING FROM THE WALTER AND JOHNSON RESPONSES!).

Jay Tea at WizBang Blog picked up the story and ran with it here and here.

Laurence has jumped into the fray since he sits in Saturday mornings on the High Tech Texan show. He might have to sit out since the radio station supports these guys.

Fortunately Lair provided a link to email the radio station's AM Operations Manager so we can express how we feel about the situation (which I promptly took advantage of).

Here is what I wrote:

Dear Mr. Berry,

As a Dallas resident who listens to your radio station over the internet I find it very disturbing that radio talent which your radio station uses has stolen the content of Say Anything Blog (

While this may or may not have been inadvertent, the response from Walton and Johnson has been an insult to all bloggers (many of whom make up your listening audience). Their response in part was:

"We answer 300 emails per day....sometimes you don’t get to cross all of the T’s and dot all of the I’s.... Sorry I answered this on at all. This kind of rudeness deserves no reply. So don’t bother sending anything back. We don’t plagiarize anything. PS **** off."

I respectfully ask you to consider whether your advertisers would be best served by talent which would encourage people in the online community to listen, rather than these small minded plagiarists.

Thank you for you time.

Houston Keys

We'll see what happens.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Troubleshooting - Lesson 1

We here in tech support don't always follow a "Script" like those outsourced hacks in India . We use tried and true methods to troubleshoot issues presented to us.

For example:

Tech calls me and tells me he replaced a Media Gateway (that is a phone thingie Jenny) and it ran for three days then the customer had poor voice quality on one call so they shut the Media Gateway (the aforementioned phone thingie) down.

ONE CALL! Three days of uptime and they have ONE BAD CALL so they shut it down!

So the tech wants to know what he should do. I go through the standard troubleshooting common sense, which is try to duplicate it, determine the problem, then FIX IT! The tech tells me how he did all that before the failure and now he doesn't think it will fail again and it will take a lot of time ... Yadda yadda yadda...

So I resort to my most powerful troubleshooting tool and ask the Magic 8 Ball what he should do and I get this:

Problem solved. Bye bye.

April Fools Day Lunch Bag Artwork

OK, I am feeling better today, less neck pain and nowhere near as depressed. With that in mind, I present... LUNCH!