Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Exercise In Pain!

OK so Jenny had a post here discussing the usage of bandaids to give the illusion of "Lift," which naturally made me question what she was talking about. Well, unfortunately she gave me step by step instructions... which I followed. I thought I would share my PAIN with all of you.

Step 1:
Get a roll of tape. She recommended scotch tape, but she's a GIRL, so what does she know about tape? I went with MANLY TAPE. DUCT TAPE!

Step 2:
Get me. I am large, oddly proportioned and GRUMPY.
I am a perfect test candidate.

Step 3:
Get me naked.
Oddly enough, this isn't as hard as it would seem to be, or so my wife says.
(I would like to point out, since this blog is rated PG, I am sparing you the worst of the view.)

Step 4:
Apply the tape. This is to give the appearance of "Lift." I don't know about "Lift." Uncomfortable yes, humiliated yes, "Lift" no.

Step 5:
Give up on the whole thing and remove the tape. I opted for a quick yank to reduce pain, however I failed to take into account the large amounts of flesh I would surrender in the process.

In conclusion:
This was a very, very bad idea. I have a new respect for Jenny, as well as for all Brazilians.


Jenny said...

Ha! I love it!

This link is totally going on my drash the dress post.

(Sorry about the scrotal flesh.)

Christine said...

Hilarious post with fabulous illustrations. Inspired use of flower! Hee.

Houston said...

Thank you both. With Jenny's wit and Christine's great eye I am honored.

BTW. I am a gun for hire. You all ever need childlike drawings from a grown man. I am the one for you!

Tracy said...

So yeah... now the book must go to reprint - it is now 102 Uses for Duct Tape


This scars about as well as Tigger and Pooh... Aaaaaah!