Tuesday, October 30, 2007

2nd Amendment Poster?

I built a startpage for Firefox on my laptop which has my frequently used web pages.

I was looking at it today and I began to wonder about the similarities in the poses between Jenny (on the left) and SarahK (on the right... and I do mean THE RIGHT!).

Did my subconscious build a monument to the 2nd amendment here?

The Dethroning Of A Hero

OK, I have been a Jason Witten fan since he was a Tight End for the University of Tennessee Volunteers (number 1 sure looked tiny on him, but I digress) and it was with great rejoicing I discovered the Cowboys picked him. I finally had a reason to root for the Cowboys (as until this point my utter contempt for Jerry Jones, Dave Campo and Rowdy fueled my hatred of the Cowboys), they now had The Big Tuna AND Jason Witten!

I have been pulled more and more toward being a cowboy fan. Over the last two years I gave in and root for them (this year I bought my first Cowboys shirt to wear at work). I planned on buying Witten's jersey and flying the old number 82, but after seeing THIS AD I don't know anymore...

Jason... PICKLE JUICE!?!

Adventures With Blogger

As both of my loyal readers have no doubt seen, the blog went through some exciting (not) changes over the weekend and is now back to normal(?). Blogger was offering some new layouts, which I tried, but unfortunately all the content I had written in HTML would not drop into the template and parse correctly.

Lets just say I was less than impressed.

So here was are, back to the same old same old.

If anyone has suggestions for what they would like to see, drop me a line. Otherwise, I don't know what I will try next.

Friday, October 26, 2007

WARNING - Tech Stuff Ahead!

This will only be funny if you are a VOIP geek, so be aware.

Guys posts a ticket complaining his soft phone works fine in the house network (LAN), but when he goes home and tries to connect over the Internet it doesn't work. He says he is sure they have the firewall off at work (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ahem, sorry) so what could be the problem?

I want to pull the ticket and say "The Internet." Would that be wrong?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The McLean Children

Eric Gillian McLean
Ian Grant McLean

I am writing this and will permalink it on the front until Eric finds his kids.

Eric found out in October his wife had taken the children and left the state with them. This is after she was fired from a teaching job after making inappropriate contact with a student(s). Not to mention she occasionally had one of the boys call to throw the kid's mom off that it was her. It is also after she checked herself out of a mental institution. I would also like to point out she tried to kill herself earlier this year.

But, she has custody of the kids so the cops won't do anything. even though her family is concerned and thinks she should not have the kids right now.

If you see the kids anywhere, please email me at houstonkeys(at)gmail.com. I will respond back and forward your information to the family for follow up. She is believed to be in California although that may not be accurate. Any information may be helpful, so please if you have a lead, let us know.

I make no bones about where I stand with Erin and Eric, but the kids come first. I do NOT think Erin has their best interest in mind.

Maybe I Should Go Into Politics

Here at work we are watching some co-workers playing a political game. I warned my boss to be on the lookout because I smell a big fat rat headed our way (of course I am paranoid so it's hard to take me seriously).

We'll see what happens. Regardless, if not here I will work elsewhere. To borrow line from the "Dark Tower" series from Stephen King, "There are other worlds than this one."

There are other jobs than this one also. I don't want to leave, but I have a feeling the door is getting shut against my will regardless.

Oh well. Anyone need a Telecommunications Specialist?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Bold Prediction!

OK so someone (Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson or perhaps Spike Lee or some actor straight from rehab) will make some news soon about how there is no panic and there are supplies and peace at the football stadium where fire evacuees are sheltering as opposed to the panic and disorganization at the Superdome.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with preparedness of officials or anything like that.

Back Seat Driver

As I am driving in to work today my family and I get caught in the normal Dallas traffic. While we sit in the bumper to bumper crawl of nothingness I hear a tiny three year old voice from the backseat saying "What are you DOING there Truck?"

I giggle. My wife says "Looks like we have a little backseat driver with us. I think she got that from me though, if she got it from you it would not have been as nice."

"Wow," I think to myself. "Imagine my little girl in the backseat yelling out, 'Hey buddy! Are you dead from the neck up or what!?"

Monday, October 22, 2007

The A-Team

OK, so I think I found some contraption the A-Team built for a client. I especially like the corrugated steel in the back windows (and the air conditioner).

I expected B.A. to jump out and yell, "Stop with all this JIBBER-JABBER! I pity the fool who thinks I'm going to fly!"

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Favorite Cellphone Setting

I LOVE my Razor! It's like it was made for me!

Rules of Andrewball

My oldest son has a game he plays with his brothers and sisters that we call Andrewball. Basically it is a game where he changes the rules non-stop until he wins.

I have decided to post the rules so you all can play along on your home version of the game of Andrewball.


Andrewball never ends, you are always playing Andrewball if you have begun playing Andrewball.

Until Andrew decides he is done.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Exercise In Pain!

OK so Jenny had a post here discussing the usage of bandaids to give the illusion of "Lift," which naturally made me question what she was talking about. Well, unfortunately she gave me step by step instructions... which I followed. I thought I would share my PAIN with all of you.

Step 1:
Get a roll of tape. She recommended scotch tape, but she's a GIRL, so what does she know about tape? I went with MANLY TAPE. DUCT TAPE!

Step 2:
Get me. I am large, oddly proportioned and GRUMPY.
I am a perfect test candidate.

Step 3:
Get me naked.
Oddly enough, this isn't as hard as it would seem to be, or so my wife says.
(I would like to point out, since this blog is rated PG, I am sparing you the worst of the view.)

Step 4:
Apply the tape. This is to give the appearance of "Lift." I don't know about "Lift." Uncomfortable yes, humiliated yes, "Lift" no.

Step 5:
Give up on the whole thing and remove the tape. I opted for a quick yank to reduce pain, however I failed to take into account the large amounts of flesh I would surrender in the process.

In conclusion:
This was a very, very bad idea. I have a new respect for Jenny, as well as for all Brazilians.

This Sums Up How I Feel

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. T hey would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see..... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing , free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.
Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to "press one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than " Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!

Author unknown


As a postscript: I got this via email, BUT especially considering the problems we are having getting our school system to take our child seriously.

No problem getting himinto a ESL class though.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Another Day At Home

The wife or (to shamelessly steal from Ellison) "She Who Must Be Obeyed" was feeling puny again today so I called in to work.

I managed to infuriate my beloved before we even got the kids off to school.

It is offical, from now on I have to help her out by going to work when she is sick.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Have a Cigar!

Laurence had a post about the rash of artists suing their record companies and/or dumping them to strike out on their (Trent Reznor). So as someone who years ago was trying to "Make It" as a musician and now knows people who are part time musicians who are still trying to "Make It" I would like to present a less than flattering picture of the music industry.

Lets say you get signed to a wonderful deal and get 10% royalties on albums sold. And to keep the math easy lets say the record company makes $10 profit on each album (of which you pull your 10%). So if you sell a 100,000 albums the total profit is $1,000,000. The band gets to keep 10% or $100,000.00 (roughly a buck and album).

Not bad you say. BUT, be sure to keep in mind you probably have four people in the band (or more) so you are looking at $25,000 dollars each (before taxes). Please remember we are keeping the math simple, usually royalties are split differently among the members of the band based on their contributions to the songs on the album.

Also, please keep in mind, the record company puts the money up front to record, produce, promote and distribute the album and God forbid they actually run the risk of LOSING money, so it is written into contracts that the artist begins getting checks AFTER all the outstanding bills from the recording. So out of that cool million bucks you have an even smaller pile to pull from for an artist.

So, this is a LONG way of saying unless you are a superstar like Madonna, ZZ Top (OK so superstar is a stretch here), Michael Jackson (giggle) etc... You probably will die penniless and insane (like a tech support guy).

This is why I have NO sympathy for record companies in their lawsuits. Whether is is for RIAA suits or an artist sueing them. Artist are much better off desiging their own stuff, recording it themselves and selling it on the web. Unless you have a fabulous deal and sell in excess of 500,000 copies, you are living in lower-upper-class status.

Any other musician/record company horror stories out there. If anyone would like to know, I will be happy to name names (I have no shame).

Friday, October 12, 2007

Justin of "Justin's Random Thoughts"

OK, so I finally got around to adding Justin to my blogroll. He is a very talented person who was nice enough to send me a decent graphic to link to his blog with (thanks again Justin). My my tens of readers be nice to you.

I say that because he is a talented writer as well as he found a way to make me root for the Texans.

Please win this week guys...

Please... Pretty please...

Love Your Dog Today

I just have to say. Wizbang Pop had this story about a dog who saves his family from a fire,

started by a cat.

So love your dog, and kick your cat.

(Just kidding)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Whine With My Cheese

OK, I am a little depressed and frustrated with being a Dad right now. Basically I stink at the job.

Oldest boy is so smart and has so much potential but tries so very little. He reminds me of me when I was his age. I hated Math (I hated most things I couldn't excel at which is also very similar to boy number 2) and found school boring and pointless. I had some teachers who were good who could get my interest, but a lot of them were going through the motions (it was a job and not a passion any longer). He can do so much when he tries.

Third boy is having problems in school related to Aspergers. We have told the school and told the school and met with people and the wife has called and called administrators. We are mired in a paperwork bureaucracy.

Working for a large company has taught me how the game is played. If you don't want to do something you make LOTS and LOTS of paperwork for people to go through to get something done. Then even if the paperwork gets done and you aren't doing anything, you can shuffle paper from point A to point B and make it appear as if you ARE doing something. Not to mention, the more paperwork, the better the chance for an error in the paperwork and an easy out for you.

That is where we are with Ben.

We are fighting through his meltdowns and trying to keep him going and get him caught up on his work, but he is falling further and further behind. So I think a change is in order. We are going to have to reduce some of this time on homework (don't know how yet, I'm on a roll here though, so don't bother me with details). Kid HAS to have some down time. He's not sleeping well, he works on schoolwork from the minute he gets in until bedtimes. It isn't healthy.

On a side note, my back is killing me. My life has become a circle of back pain, and painkillers trying to find relief. Fighting with the kids doesn't help.

Prayers are appreciated.

Turkey Recalls Ambassador

Turkey recalled it's ambassador today.

I wonder if he is defective like all the junk from China?

Monday, October 08, 2007

Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name

OK, this thing scared me to death. Finally a puppy that grows before your eyes. It goes from a little puppy to a full grown dog in the space of several days.

OK, this creeps me out... A lot.

I mean, I want my puppy to be a puppy (especially if I am buying a toy). It growing up leads to it growing old which leads to...


I am not looking forward to having to explain that one to my kids. We have real pets we have to do that with. Unless...

Maybe that is what we can do with this. We can set up a way for a toy dog to teach the facts of life and death. I will call it...

"Puppy Kicks the Bucket!"

Maybe it could pop off in a variety of ways. Antifreeze, worms, explosive diarrhea. The sky's the limit.

Friday, October 05, 2007

SARS Alert!!!!

I am all scratchy throated and annoyed...

Thanks John. Spreading your cold from sea to shining sea.

I would also like to thank my buddy Mike from England. I always wondered what the bird flu felt like. Now I know.

I shall have my revenge upon you two!

Monday, October 01, 2007

Sorry, Nothing Funny Here

Sorry folks. I have been a bit preoccupied. I am in Chicago taking a class on a great server based phone system and I am digging it.

I miss the wife and kids, so I am looking forward to getting home soon. Until then I am making the most of things. I would post pictures, but... there, really isn't anything to take pictures of.

You see downtown Chicago is great and has lots to see. The suburbs are very very nice, but not very exciting. I like them though, just not the traffic.

Anything exciting happens (other than the excruciating pain I have in my back right now) and I'll let you know. Until then, love one another.

Jen I love you.