Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I am a HORRIBLE Person

OK, so today at work I passed out.

Nothing too terrible, I stood up, got dizzy and BOOM!

I was out for about 4 seconds and talked like a drunk on painkillers for another 10 or 20 seconds.

I went to Urgent Care and they think it's my BP meds. Not a big deal, talk with my real doc when I can tomorrow.

So after all this at 8:30 tonight there is a knock at the door. It's the little girl from college my wife ran off the other day trying to give us some spiel on "Study Guides."

The wife can't get rid of her and the girl is trying to come in, so I step in.

"Look," I say, "we can't. We have two little ones and the dogs are worked up. We are not available and will not be."

"Well sir, you don't have to buy anything."

"No, we're not interested." I reply.

"But sir this is for college credit. I get credit just for explaining this to you."

"No," I say.

"So you won't even listen to what I have to say so I can get college credit? You don't want to help me get college credit?"

"No," I say.

"Sir, did you ever go to college?"

"No, I reply," obviously irritated by this point.

"Well then, maybe that's why you don't understand." At this point she attempts to move toward the door and show me the "Study Guides."


"Look," I say sharply, "Let me explain it for you. NO! NOW LEAVE!" Just in case she forgot where her car was parked, I pointed the way out for her.

"Sir, I just have to say, you are the coolest dad I met all day."

"Brought it on yourself," was my reply as I slammed the door on her.

Anyone else think I was evil for telling a pretentious JERK that I didn't want to listen to her CRAP?

Not that it matters. I'm pretty sure I will sleep OK tonight.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

In a TREE!

OK, I just got an email from our cafeteria advertising a "Bar-B-Que" cookout on Thursday along with a lit of menu items. I feel I must share this with the commonfolk so you can enjoy also.

Menu items:

Burger's $2.99ea.
Hot Dogs $3.25 ea.
Grilled Chicken $3.29 ea.
Sliced BBQ Sandwiches $3.99 ea.
Hot Links $3.99ea.
(Cheese $ .30 extra)

Any of you Yahoos ever paid $3.25 for a stinkin' HOT DOG.

Hence the title of my post. I will enjoy my fat-guy-going-away-food.

Back in the Saddle Again

OK, so back at work and everything is normal. I did get a couple of education sites emailed to me by a buddy of mine that I think I will take some online tests for. Maybe I can add a few letters after my name.

Anyway, that is that. We have recovered from the trauma of the travel and are getting back in the swing of things.

One massive surprise was our friends who chipped in to redo our bathrooms while we were gone. We now have had our bath and shower re-tiled in both bathrooms (thanks again Louis).

On a side note, be prepared for me to ridicule someone horrendously if what I have heard from COLLEGEGIRL is true.


Sunday, June 24, 2007

Tub Pooper

OK, new term of the day.

Wife yells that she needs me interrupting the torture of the 4-0 Astros romp of the Rangers so far (but then again, if you can't beat the Rangers, who can you beat?) with a yell of "We've got a TUB POOPER!

Apparently the two girls were enjoying a bath together when Sadie decided it was time to take care of business.

Needless to say, Lucie was not amused.

Home Again

Well we have returned from our adventures in Knoxville. We saw lots of family, ate two much food, and I managed to bang out two 100 Word Stories for the challenge.

You can vote for the latest one here.

I ask that you vote for me, but I am getting my butt kicked by a very worth opponent in Jenny so if you vote for her I won't hold it against you.

Friday, June 15, 2007

On the Road

Well, for my tens of fans who follow my every move, the family and I are on the road. Our house and pets are being watched over by the ever vigilant COLLEGEGIRL, so we know they are in good hands.

Other than enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of Lenoir City, Tennessee (Lake Capital of the South) we made the discovery Dozer actually sounds a lot like Sean Connery.

I would not be surprised if he gets his own segment around here.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Terror in a Chinese Cookie!

OK, I don't know whether to be flattered, or terrified. We had chinese food tonight. The family and I were opening up our fortune cookies and laughing at the fortunes until we got to mine.

No lie. Here is my fortune verbatim.

"An admirer is concealing HIS affection for you."


Who is he?