Thursday, August 07, 2014

Is The Audience Listening?

I started to write a blog post refuting NASA's latest claims that Global Warming is on temporary hiatus, but rest assured it is just around the corner waiting to steal your lunch money and have unprotected sex with you when you least expect it.

Kind of like The Spanish Inquisition. No one expects The Spanish Inquisition!

I didn't write about it. Despite articles pointing to no increase in global temperatures for 15+ years.  Despite articles explaining the Arctic Ice sheet is at its highest summer level in years. Despite even the coolest Summer on record in years.

Did I not write about this because I am afraid? Because I am a flat-Earther or a Luddite or because I cannot bear to understand the intricacies in my tiny brain?

No, I didn't write about it because everyone has already made their minds up.  Writing about it will only be ignored on the Left, and sounding into an echo chamber on the Right.  Everyone thinks their opinion is the only one that is right.  The key there is "Opinion".

Most of us are not educated scientists. I'm a tech support geek.  I dropped out of college.  I will most likely never run a fortune 500 company or be a millionaire.   When I die, my family and some friends will care, but the majority of the world won't.  In short, I'm nobody.  My opinion doesn't matter.  I am to pay my taxes and complain about politics like a good minion.  My opinion means  nothing.

What my life and my career has taught me above all else is "Trust but verify."  Remember that phrase from the 80's?  Talking about our nuclear arsenal and our disarmament methods with the Soviet Union.  I always begin by giving the other side the benefit of the doubt.  Their intentions may be pure. I then verify the facts.  Very often (but not always) we find something they insisted they had "Already checked" which they missed.  I then graciously agree that it was weird that the setting changed itself on its own and wow, I'll be on the lookout for problems like that in the future.

I truly believe the customer was 100% confident and sincere in their statements, however it's my job to figure out why their phones don't work.

Global Warming folks (aka Climate Scientists) are continuing to rail into the night skies that the end is near, man will destroy the world.  Only their short-term predictions haven't come through.

BUT YOU GUYS BETTER BELIEVE THEIR LONG TERM PREDICTIONS WILL COME THROUGH BECAUSE... SCIENCE!!!

I'm reminded of several years back when the local meteorologists predicted a Winter storm that was going to dump several inches of snow on Dallas.  They told us when it was going to start and the local news had reporters at major intersections to record the chaos.  Those reporters stood in the cold describing how ominous the skies looked,  how it could break loose at any second and how despite no Winter precipitation the roads were going to be treacherous.

It never came.  The snow completely missed us.  We watched through the night as the snowfall estimates were adjusted lower, and lower, and lower, until they were forced to admit we "Dodged a bullet."

The meteorologists did just what the Climate Scientists are doing.  Changing the facts, to fit their prediction.

Weird, I wrote about Climate Change after all.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Observations From Our Trip To Memphis

- Texarkana occasionally smells like deviled eggs three hours after Thanksgiving Dinner.

- Always bring THE WIFE on a road trip. You never know when your debit card will be suddenly cancelled by your bank. Like when you don't have enough gas to get back to Dallas or forward to Memphis.

- My cousin Emily is still the most loving soul on the planet. She is a constant source of hope for me.

- My father and my cousin Randy hit it off right away. I knew they would when Randy showed up still carrying his Glock from his latest shooting competition and the subject changed to companies moving to Texas. My dad chimed in with, "Oh yeah, did you see the graphic in the NRA magazine...?"

Randy had. :)

- My beautiful granddaughter (aka: pookie, lumpy, or moonbeam) is a road warrior and a constant source of smiles and laughs.

- The Pink palace museum has a shrunken human head on exhibit. Sadie was fascinated by it and carefully read the recipe for making one.

- The boys Sadie date in the future will have a tough time deciding whether to be more afraid of me, or her. (I still will have access to a wood chipper, although now I may have to save the head for her in my process.)

- I am blessed more than anyone can ever know.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

We Are All Comrades Now!

Comrades,

I have had a change of heart.  My old, cruel Capitalist ways have gotten me nowhere.  I have now seen the glory of the Socialist dream!  There is enough of everyone else's for all of us!

Little did I know that years ago when THE WIFE (The Comrade Who Must Be Obeyed) and I came up with Tater Tots for the Masses I was already harboring the Socialist dream deep in my red bosom.  I mean, after all, the Tater Tots were for the Masses, not for me.  I was distributing technical support drivel and pain like golden drops from the mouth of Lenin himself. (Vlad, not John.)

I accept my new role in life.  I plan to redesign the site to take part in the glorious workers revolution.

I have a dream!  A dream that one day we may all have equal amounts of Tater Tots!*  We shall all live and work as one!

Yours in Glorious Socialism,
Comrade Tots


*Some amounts more equal than others.  As has always been the worker's way.
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