Monday, November 09, 2015

How To Poop Effectively

Thanks to the internet and Reddit I now have instructions on the correct way to poop.

For maximum effective spray DO NOT SIT!!!

As a man who has had to follow someone into a completely destroyed Men's room, I understand why this is necessary.  There have been times when I have seriously considered using the sink.  In the end I wound up leaving and suffering through the discomfort.

How does one manage to spray poop UP A WALL???  I know it happens, I've seen it.

The memory haunts me.

Wednesday, November 04, 2015

The Farce Awakens

Dude... The trailers for The Phantom Menace looked good too.

Plus side, no Jar Jar and no George Lucas.

Minus side... I'm sure there will be many.

Wednesday, September 09, 2015

Labor Day Show

Well, we made it.  Despite an amp that was brought in that was supposed to be better than my backup amp, my main amp still being in the shop and almost falling out from heat exhaustion we made it.

Photo Credit: Chad Fenner

I. Had. Fun.

Yeah, my feet were burning in the sun.
The guys and I played Biker Bash 2015 in Granbury, TX right before national acts, Scarlet White, Shonlock, Seventh Day Slumber and Fireflight.

Now, the guys have another bass player auditioning who will be with them in Amarillo, TX for that show and then they decide who they want going forward.

It was fun, I totally expect them to chose the other guy.  I think despite the fun I had, my style is just not quite what they are looking for.  Plus I'm 43 years old and 300 pounds.  I just don't look Rock and Roll anymore.

Hopefully the new guy will rock out and they can move their ministry forward.  Please pray for the continued success of the 7 Days from Sunday ministry.  They are reaching out to people who may not have ever heard the Gospel, or if they have, don't realize you can actually have a GOOD TIME praising God.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Tales Of Woo? Tips of Woe?

Have you wanted to write a book?  I know I have.  Why don't you?


That's right, it takes skill and dedication to write a book.  When people do, they often suck.  Seriously, go read one.  I'll wait...

Back yet?  Yep, I told you.  You read a book and think, "How did this thing get published?"  We then, I've got an anomaly in the book world for you.  I was treated to a pre-release copy of Rodney Lacroix's book, "Romantic as Hell (Tales of Woe, Tips of Woo)" and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

I do have to admit up front that I wondered how he wound up knowing what I had done wrong through all my romantic encounters.  THE WIFE can certainly tell you about the time she was expecting a engagement ring and I gave her a map (don't ask).  Or all the times I complimented her with things I thought were fantastic compliments that put me in the doghouse.

Apparently I am not the only guy who does these things.  Let's face it men, women think differently than we do.  We need someone to guide us through these things.  Someone, who can let us know what the target of our wooing wants.

Fortunately for losers like me in the world Rodney has covered the do's and don't's for being "Romantic as Hell".

See how I worked the title in there?  That's awesome writing in action!

If you've had the chance to read Rodney's previous books... "Wait" you say, "Didn't you say 'Writing is hard'?  You mean Rodney has more than ONE book?"  Why yes, he does.  In addition to Things Go Wrong For Me" (Finalist – 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor) and Finalist – 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor) as well as his second book "Perhaps I've Said too Much".  Both of these books are great for making you realize your life isn't as bad as you think after all.
"Romantic as Hell" Rodney has written "

National Man of Mystery Rodney Lacroix
Where was I?  Oh yes, if you've read Rodney's previous books you have an idea of what to expect; humor (sometimes potty humor, sometimes self degradation but always too much information).  When you finish you understand why people sometimes ignore all those warnings on anti-psychotic drugs and take the plunge.  "Romantic as Hell" is a great laugh a minute book that covers the do's (questionable sometimes, but hey, it's your time on the couch, not mine) and the don't's (DEFINITELY DON'T'S) of wooing your object of...  woo?

I don't want to spoil anything as you just need to take the plunge and enjoy getting to know Rodney and his take on life.  If you don't take anything else from the book, take this one truth.


Don't be a "Ross"!

Lesson learned, Rodney.  Thank you from a man who is not sleeping on the couch this week.

If you'd like to know more, you can always read additional information on Rodney at his website: or follow him on twitter at:

You will not be disappointed.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Obamacare AKA The Giant Sucking Sound From Washington

Interesting read regarding Walker's insurance plan at the LA Times.

I'm not jumping on a real bandwagon for anyone yet.  It's far too early and I am very, very amused watching Trump make everyone's heads explode.  What caught my attention on this article is how we can solve the monstrous thing known as Obamacare without:

1. Screwing over the people that have benefited from it
2. Driving us to bankruptcy

I have several friends who have finally gotten health insurance. They have either been self employed or had a pre-existing condition which kept them from getting insurance.


I have opposed Obamacare from far before Nancy Pelosi said "We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it."  I do not trust government.  If a bill is well over a thousand pages, passes on a strictly partisan basis and bypasses the limitations imposed on the federal government in the Constitution there is something wrong.  I also severely doubt any figures used either for or against Obamacare's cost.

Cost is a big problem... That's another rant though.

It makes a great soundbite to say you will "End Obamacare on day one!" but in actuality this is a hugely complex law affecting almost every single American in one way or another PLUS it has had six years to worm its way in.  It can't simply be thrown out or the vacuum left behind will be worse than what the politicians are trying to fix.

Solutions... I don't have one yet.  Allowing access across state lines is a great start.  Eliminating restrictions on pre-existing conditions is another.  Of course the flip side to the pre-existing condition is insurance companies are businesses which employ people and we can't crush them with a flood of people they can't pay for.

The important thing is to follow a very important rule regarding Obamacare: "First, do no harm."

Monday, August 17, 2015

The Lowest Health Point In My Life

A buddy took this photo and shared it. I have to admit I am hugely dismayed (along with just plain HUGE).

I'm the fat guy in the pink coral shirt on the left

I have let my weight get out of control (again). I have fought my weight all my life. I eat because I'm not happy, or I'm stressed. I eat FAST because I always feel like I have to get to the next thing and I have let my back pain block me from doing anything relating to exercise.

I hurt, so I am inactive, I am inactive so I get fatter, I get fatter which puts more strain on my back.

Basically #Wah

So, this is posted today to show the lowest point in my health life. I am not letting this kill me. This time, I am asking for God's help to get me healthy.  I've done this on my own and I fail, I need God to get me right.

Here I am after doing Body for Life:

Check out the handsome fellow in orange
(The baby is pretty cute too)

This is AFTER I started putting weight back on.

I can't handle this anymore. I am taking it one step at a time. God, please be my guide.

Prayers are appreciated.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Monthly Check-In

Time for the Monthly check-in.

My back is still terrible... Meh...

I am trying out for a band.  I am kind of excited about this one because it is a Christian Hard Rock band.  I really like the guys in the band and I'm having a great time jamming with them and learning their stuff.  I should know if the next bit if I'm in or not, but whatever happens I'm leaving it up to God.

THE WIFE (She Who Must Be Obeyed) is doing well as are the kids.  Ben is still Ben and has adapted to High School very well.  Despite what he thinks I think of him, I love him and I am very, very proud of him.

Chris has graduated and is looking at a career in law enforcement.  I'm running a doc through the printer for him as I type for his next phase of the interview process.

Andrew (The Boy in the Bubble) has his own family.  A lovely wife and daughter who I adore and he is a hard working father.  He puts his family first and I am extremely proud of him.

The girls are their adorable selves.  Always with smiles, whines or random acts of annoyance they make my day.  Lucie is a Whovian (although she is a HUGE fan of the 12th doctor and I'm still not there yet) while Sadie is my Scooby Doo buddy.  I secretly fear she only watches the show to amuse me, but hey, WHATEVER WORKS AMIRIGHT?

I hope my friends are doing well.  I have asked Lucie and Sadie to contribute cartoons to the blog, but nothing yet.  We'll see how the future goes.